Debra's Random Thoughts

No Longer Posting

2010-12-14T09:28:00.002-05:00

I am no longer adding new content to this site but if anyone wants to link to any of my articles, they can. Just please credit me. Thanks

Rebekah Pearl Anast Part Three-Life After Marriage

2010-03-30T20:51:00.007-04:00

This article will be slightly different then the previous two. Although I am still using her own quotes to highlight Rebekah Pearl Anast's life, I am not following a specific chronological order. For the most parts these quotes can be found on a site called WWW.7XSunday.net which she and her hubby run.

Since her marriage, Rebekah has moved to a Navajo Reservation outside of Gallup, New Mexico. The couple have six children named, Joseph Courage, Ryshoni Joy, Hannah Sunshine,Elijah Music and Chaiyah Eve. In addition to 7xsunday, Rebekah runs a site called Dreaming Awake in which she details the dreams that she has about a apocolyptical future for our country. Together she and her husband also run another forum called Urban Exodus.

Rebekah and her husband, Gabe, had a much greater part in Debbi Pearl's book, Created to Be His HelpMeet then I had thought. This is from a thread on 7xsunday. Debbi Pearl seems to be the author of this acknowledgment.

My son-in-law Gabriel Anast and my daughter Rebekah Joy Anast gave me the idea and much of the information for the section on the three types of men, which made understanding men so much simpler. Beka also provided examples, ideas, and Scripture included in the other parts of this book. I consider her co-author of this book.

In a plea for money from the followers of his site, her husband writes:

However, recently, since February, I have been studying full time. I have not been working anymore. All I’ve been doing is studying the Word. And I did that because I think God told me to. It’s not because I wanted to... it really scared me. And we were really poor for those months. And a handful of people have supported us here and there by giving us a bag of wheat or food a few dollars. And that’s fine... And we’re happy to live poor. We’ve done that our whole married life, Rebekah and I. We’re good at it. And I should say more or less; we haven’t always lived as poor as we are now, we certainly have had more money in the past, but that is not the point, I’m just going through the situation...

As the sole provider for his family, it would seem that Gabe Anast would not want to voluntarily surrender his income. When he wrote his plea, Rebekah was pregnant with their sixth child. Neither parent appear to have held any paying job during her pregnancy.

Later in a thread entitled, How Is Beka, Rebekah confirms that the family is without electricity.
Gabe's quote of my statement "the kids need clothes" has to be put into American context. Nobody is running around naked. Yeah, so what the electricity got cut off (in the summer). We cooked outside and had a big time doing it. Gabe takes our needs to heart because he wants to give me everything; and does give me all that matters.

During previous pregnancies she self medicated with herbal treatments. What follows is her opinion on the preeclampsia which she believed that she was experiencing with her other five pregnancies.

The short version is that I believe preeclampsia is a condition that is secondary to inflammation (at least, in my case.) During my last pregnancy I used Bilberry tonic to control it, and even reverse it to some extent until the baby was born. There is a thread on WTM on dealing with preeclampsia on which I posted some of the research.

As someone who loves to write, the following saddens me for Rebekah. Apparently, her husband can choose to take time off from supporting his family, but she can not engage in an activity that she enjoys. Even worse are her references to her husband as her Lord.

http://www.7xsunday.net/forum/index.php/topic,21637.30.html

In fact, if your worship of God IN ANY WAY short-changes your husband or son, or makes them feel shut out, then IMO, it is not in spirit and in truth. This, I believe, includes time "writing to God" when your husband is sitting beside you. :-\Remember that your husband is your lord. Would you write about your King's bad temper whilest he sat on the throne watching you and frowning?

I know that in my own life, I would have to be majorly sleep deprived to maintain the American idea of "time alone with God" and meet my family's needs. I have learned to subscribe to Christ's version of a good Devotion and worship God in spirit and in truth wherever I am, all day long. This also helps me stay cheerful, because my time of devotion to God is over all and in all that I do. Not that I am perfect, but this is what I am fighting for and trying to attain every day.

Also, if your writing (like mine) alienates your family, you may have to lay it down completely. I love to write. It is my favorite thing in the world... second to my family. If writing about them, or about anything, makes them feel second, or in a waiting line for my attention, or like I am telling on them... then I quit. I don't write about my family these days. I don't keep a diary like I did all my life and for the last 2 years I haven't written much at all except for an occasional post on WTM or 7XS at my husband's request... Soon my family will be grown, and my writing days will bloom again. But I know I won't regret laying aside the pen/keyboard for these few years.

Now remember... count the mistakes you haven't made. God bless your journey forward!

I do not have any problems with women choosing to give birth at home if they are under the care of a qualified professional. On another site called, WellTell me, Rebekah posts under the name, Forever Girl. This quote is number fifteen in the thread.

http://www.welltellme.com/discuss/index.php/topic,353.0.html

Now, I have had 4 "unassisted" homebirths. It did save us 20,000 dollars all told, and has been a thrilling and bonding experience for both my husband and I. With just the two of us, I feel free to pray out loud at the top of my voice (or scream as the case may be), *dress* comfortably, do whatever is comfortable, and be in my own surroundings. If I had a medical condition, we'd make the appropriate adjustments.
Since writing this on February 24, 2007, Rebekah has had two more children. It appears that all six of her children have been unassisted home births.

In this statement Rebekah Anast takes passive aggressive rudeness to an entirely new level. A mother had asked how to handle a set of parents who refused to listen to her advice to follow the Pearls' training methods. This is Forevergirl's(Rebekah's) answer.

It is our policy, when bombarded by foolish people, to pull together as a family. We keep our kids with us. We tell them why. I do not engage in personal or entertaining conversation with the woman. I stay close to my husband and children and focus entirely on meeting his needs, and keeping my own children orderly. I read books to them quietly. If the woman asks me a question, I answer briefly and cheerfully, and go back to my "duty." If she engages in being a mother and help meet... then I interact with her and help if she needs help. If her focus is on herself and getting me to focus on her, then I disengage and go back to focusing purely on my family. If we are at a playground, then I play with the children... staying with them at all times.

This makes "hanging out" very pleasant for a woman whose goal is to be a help meet... it makes hanging out miserable for a woman whose goal is to get attention. She won't want to come back.

We also try to meet at a public place and keep it short... and do not engage in conversations that are pointless and erred. We don't disagree or fight, we just cease to engage

Can you imagine being treated this way by someone whose house you were visiting? Jesus met with prostitutes and tax collectors but Rebekah won't talk with a woman with unruly kids.

Rebekah seems to have absorbed her father’s irrational fear of homosexuals. This is what she claims to tell her very young children about homosexuals.

This answer comes with as much of an answer as I CAN give:
"Sodomites are men that like other men instead of women... like sleeping with each other... and women that like other women. Sometimes they dress as a woman instead of a man... not the way God created them. Sometimes they also want little kids instead of a regular wife. This is very evil. It is safest for you to stay away from them and stay near Daddy. God hates their sin and destroyed a whole city with fire because of all the sodomites that lived there."

This is said without much emotion, but with gravity. It is my intention to answer curiosity and dispel fear...

In an effort to prevent her from feeling competitive with her six year old daughter, Rebekah notes that she remembers that everything belongs to her husband. (DH means Dear Husband)

It really helped me to remind myself "this kitchen belongs to DH, the food belongs to DH, the meal is all about DH, and both me and our daughter are helpers for DH..."

With this in mind I can tell my daughter "yes, you can cook dinner for Dad. Remember he likes everything cleaned up as you go... let me know if you need any help." In this way, my daughter has a focus: Dad. She is learning to please a man, not herself. She is learning to be a help meet - not just a cook.

Also, in this way my daughter has the freedom to grow and mature as a woman that is learning to please a man... rather than a girl who is a slave to her mother. She isn't my helper - she's Daddy's helper. This perspective will make a girl WAY happier to stay at home longer... not in such a hurry to get married.

I thought that Christians were not supposed to have idols and yet Rebekah does sound as if she is advocating a type of husband worship. Her fear that she might one day be jealous of her daughter is troubling also. The little girl is only six!

On a strange note, Rebekah and Gabe have were sued by the Zuni Indian Tribe of the Navajo Nation over water rights. I have no idea what happened with the case or why the Anasts are allowed to live on the reservation.

http://www.zunibasin.com/documents/2142.pdf

The Pearls point to their children as examples of the adults that their methods will produce. Yet, Rebekah does not seem like the type of person that I would want my children to emulate. Not only does she appear paranoid but I wonder if she is suffering from postpartum depression. I find it difficult to believe that loving parents would want this future for their children.

I apologize for being late in getting this information up but sometimes digging for the information on this group leaves me feeling emotionally worn out.

Rebekah's Form Letter.

2010-03-24T10:53:00.002-04:00

Here is Rebekah's form letter. I wrote some comments about it, if you want to read them, my post follows this letter.

My name is Rebekah Anast, I am the firstborn daughter of Michael and Debi Pearl,
I would know (I am their daughter) whether their techniques are violent and unjust, or loving and temperate. I would know if the result is an emotionally damaged and fearful child, or a creative, successful, happy adult. I would know, yes, better than any one of these angry people, whether Michael and Debi Pearl are barbaric child abusers, or loving, successful parents.

Every type of abuse leaves evidence to prove its occurrence, whether it be a mark on the spirit or the body. Let me give you the evidence that is me:

I am 32 years old, married and the mother of three children. I am the happiest person I know, and my life is full of fruit; my own three very happy, balanced children who are completely sound in body and mind.

I have written articles, books, screenplays, and traveled the world for 4 years, meeting new people, eating new food, ministering to those in need, and loving life. I always returned to my favorite place and my favorite people... my family.

I married a wonderful man who is worth every moment of reverence and honor I give him; he is my best friend and only lover.

I have very few bad memories of childhood, all of which I can recall clearly; my dog dying, my hand getting cut on a fresh pine board, my brother being stung by bees, and my father’s grief over a friend’s suffering. That’s all that I can recall.

I remember only one spanking. I remember it because I laughed all the way through it, and so did my Dad. I had played a prank that was dangerous, but funny, and fully deserved a spanking for it, but my parents were unable to spank me without laughing. That is the only spanking I clearly remember. The others were so well-deserved my conscience was able to write off the memory once the deed was paid for.

I was never injured in body or spirit by the training I received. I was never “struck” in anger. I did receive non-injurous spankings on my fully clothed backside with a willow switch when I had clearly transgressed a known “law” of the house. These spankings did not leave bruises or abrasions, or emotional distress.

I learned by the gentlest way possible that foolishness has consequences and wise choices make life comfortable. This training has literally saved my life and I am eternally grateful to both my parents for using a literal rod to train my flesh to make wise choices.

My brothers and sisters were my best friends growing up. We did everything together; swimming, playing, working. We usually got in trouble together too, and when spankings were due, they were due all around. However, trouble was hard to find, as either Mom or Dad was almost always with us, joining in the fun, the projects, and the learning. From dancing in the rain, to building forts, to learning to ride a bike; they were there, so much a part of my life.

A person is innocent until proven guilty. I have proof that Michael and Debi Pearl are wise and loving parents: I am the proof, and every one of my siblings would agree with me.

Almost everything we (my parents) have ever written is available online for FREE on nogreaterjoy.org; and everything else is as inexpensive as possible while still allowing No Greater Joy to operate as a non-profit organization, geared toward helping thousands of parents and children.

A lot of information about the Pearl’s on the internet is simply taken out of context or completely misquoted. Look up the quotes on nogreaterjoy.org for yourself and make sure your source isn’t lying or misconstruing the truth. It’s important to the homeschool movement that we be accountable for our views, instead of blindly following the loudest sensationalist, or giving them credibility of any kind.

Rebekah (Pearl) Anast

I give full permission to reprint or repost this article in it’s entirety in any format

I Got Rebekah's Form Letter.

2010-03-24T08:46:00.006-04:00

A few years back there was an outcry in the British Homeschooling community over the possibility that the Pearls' might visit the U.K. and spread their abusive parenting practices. In response, Rebekah Pearl Anast wrote a form letter that she sent out to many bloggers saying how great her childhood was. This morning I started to moderate my blog and discovered I had been sent that same form letter.

I have several thoughts about this letter. One of the reasons that I feel comfortable in writing about Rebekah, who I believe was horribly abused as a child, is that she has put herself out as the defender of her parents. Here is a woman who has had options in life. At one point, she did get away from her family's control. So, I don't believe for an instance that she is unaware of how abusive her family is.

I will admit also that there are parts of her letter that strikes me as odd. She points out that Gabe Anast is her only lover. There is no reason for her to make such a statement in the letter. Nor does it add anything of value to her point. To be honest, I do not care how many sexual partners another person has had and unless, we are having a conversation about it, I don't want to know. That seems like very intimate information to give out to strangers.

Also, Rebekah claims to be the happiest person that she knows. Unless she is psychic there is no way that she can know who is happy or not. There is also the fact that as a child, she has been told to always be cheerful. How can we trust what she claims to feel when we know that she was whipped for not showing joy?(see To Train Up A Child) Her claims to be the happiest person that she knows is so extreme that I wonder if the opposite isn't true and she is trying desperately to cover up her unhappiness.

Another odd point in the letter is how Rebekah clearly contradicts herself. In one paragraph she writes that she was never spanked, but then she continues to describe her thankfulness that the rod was used against her. I was never injured in body or spirit by the training I received. I was never “struck” in anger. I did receive non-injurious spankings on my fully clothed backside with a willow switch when I had clearly transgressed a known “law” of the house. These spankings did not leave bruises or abrasions, or emotional distress. Notice the plural use of the word spanking. So, she did receive more then one spanking. Either she is a horrible liar or Rebekah has some weird definition of corporal punishment that the rest of us do not share.

Because of my childhood, I feel empathy for Rebekah. My own mother was mentally and emotionally abusive but she combined her cruelty with moments of kindness and generosity. I am certain that lots of abused children have a very confusing relationship with their parents. Parental cruelty is often sporadic and twisted in with claims of love and even attempts by the abusing parent to win their child's affections. Its not always easy admitting that you were an abused child. I know. I have been there.

But when my mother turned her abuse toward my children, I had to cut contact with her. Protecting my children was more important then my denials about my mother's actions. I include my own story to make a point. Rebekah Pearl Anast's childhood sounds like the religious version of my own. She probably has some of the same scars that I do.

On the slight chance that she ever reads this blog I would like to talk directly to her. Rebekah, your parents' advice is responsible for creating a adversarial relationship between parent and child that can lead to abuse. By defending them you are as culpable for their actions as they are. When innocent children are hurt, you need to stand up and admit that the myth that your family has tried to create is not true.

Rebekah, it doesn't matter what your parents tell you, or Gabe. You have to live with your own conscious. Every time a child is whipped or their spirit is broken, you are partially responsible because you have not spoken out but have tried to hide the truth. Anyone reading the first part of this series can tell that you had a rotten childhood. A woman as obviously intelligent as you can not be unaware that she had an abusive childhood. I had to stand up to my mother to protect innocent children, now you need to do the same thing. Grow a set of ovaries and be a woman.

Rebekah Pearl's Young Adult Years

2010-03-22T18:21:00.012-04:00

The first part of this series covered Rebekah Pearl’s childhood. This second part will cover her early adult hood until her marriage. To me, this is the saddest part of her life because it exposes the potential that the younger Rebekah possessed.

The young Rebekah Pearl attended a Bible College where she received a BA degree in linguistics and Bible translation.

At the age of 21, Rebekah Pearl was escorted by her 18 year old brother, Gabriel to Papua New Guinea. (No Greater Joy. September 12 1995 Wusaywusay-ai-yanday)

After twenty-five hours in the air, here I stood below the equator with my lanky, eighteen- year-old brother in a strange country thousands of miles from our little valley in Tennessee. As we picked up our back packs and wandered bewilderedly toward the buildings, I was wondering what we would do if our contact did not come to pick us up. God has called me to go to the primitive unreached tribes of Papua New Guinea, learn their language, translate the Scripture, and teach them how to read it. I have been told more than once that it is not the job for a young lady. I too have wondered how I would survive alone in a primitive tribe. I have prayed that God would send another woman to go with me.

It is interesting that as a young woman, Rebekah believed that she was capable of doing what men could not. Apparently, she also believed that God could call women to teach men.

About his daughter's role in Papua New Guinea, Michael writes:

Upon her final return to P.N.G., Rebekah will be learning an unknown language and reducing it to writing by creating an alphabet and a dictionary. She will have to discover and define the innate rules of their grammar. All definitions of words must be linked to an understanding of the culture. In order to make the translation and her communication understandable, she will be recording their history, folk tales, religious beliefs and social customs. She will have to teach them to read the literature she produces and cause them to understand the Scripture in its foreign cultural context

This is very impressive. I don’t know how successful she was at creating an alphabet and dictionary, teaching this tribe to read its own language or writing out scripture for them. That sounds like a monumental task that would take one person an entire lifetime to complete. If she did all this then Rebekah is a highly intelligent, disciplined person who deserves to be credited for her role in bringing literacy to this tribe.

From the same article, Michael writes about the people that his eldest daughter will serve

Their naked bodies reek with the stench of decaying flesh and putrid sores. Their faces are hardened by fear of the evil spirits ruling every facet of their lives. Their daily life is one of foraging the rotten logs for grub worms, which are eaten alive as they are found, or of digging in the ground with stone implements or sticks for the roots which comprise the main part of their scarce diet. Their existence is not as National Geographic or Public Television would portray. They are unhappy people with sins and evil habits ranging from the deliberate killing of young children to Sodomy and child molestation

and

It is a simple matter to obey our Lord’s last words and take the message that is medicine to the soul and health to the spirit. As all men, every tribal adult is individually, willfully rebellious. They do not deserve to hear, but it is at this very point that grace begins

She seems to have enjoyed her adventure but to keep from being lonely she wrote songs that she would later turn into a CD entitled From The Ends Of The Earth. All alone in a bamboo hut on the top of a mountain in New Guinea, the first white woman ever seen by the Kumboi village, Rebekah writes and sings songs about her God. She accompanies herself on a classical guitar. One CD. Also available on cassette.

I admit that the emphasis on her being white and female strikes me as odd.

She spent two years among the Kumboi villagers.(No Greater joy July 1, 2003 Beginning With Words)

I spent two years among the Kumboi people of Papua, New Guinea. Most of that time was spent on linguistics and translation. I squatted for hours in the smoke-filled cook-house in the center of our village, practicing the words I learned and trying to pick up new ones.

I do not know if Rebekah ever accomplished her mission of translating the bible for the Kumboi people before she returned home. After her time in the jungle, Rebekah seems to have enjoyed a rather adventuresome lifestyle.

I enjoyed exploring and scuba-diving in Thailand and Laos. From there, I headed to the Middle East. For a year and half, I traveled Israel, Egypt, and Jordan, and had in-depth conversations with monks, Jews, Ethiopians, Germans, Palestinians, Europeans, and even some socially handicapped, public-schooled Americans.

Once she returned to the states, she did not date. Her father writes that dating is understood to be nearly synonymous with fornication. Not that we think everyone who dates will commit fornication, but recreational dating, at its best, is foreplay—psychologically and emotionally, if not physically

In the same article, Michael proudly comments:
Rebekah was twenty-six when she married, and she never had a “boy friend”—never shared any kind of emotional or physical relationship with anyone. Her husband need not be concerned that someday a man may walk up to him and say, “Your wife and I used to be very special to one another.” He is her first and only.

Michael does assure the readers that Rebekah had plenty of marriage offers. He claims to have turned away five or six young men who he didn't even allow near his daughter. There were also other men that he thought would make good husbands but his daughter turned down.

The Pearls do not believe in betrothal, although the family does exert a lot of control in who is allowed to get close to their adult children.

I have formed a fence around my daughters, and by their consent I guard them against unworthy suitors. I control the gate. I let young men that I trust gain social access to my daughters. In a sense, I allow only those that are tentatively approved to pass in review. Out of that small lot of potential suitors, with their parents’ guidance, they will seek God and determine their life’s partner. Every step will be under our oversight. Again, by their consent only, we hold veto rights. A young man must go through my wife and I to get close to our daughters, but we don’t make them sign on the dotted line before they get to know each other

After receiving Micheal's permission to court Rebekah, Gabriel Anast worked for a period in the family's business. Because Rebekah was overseas, it was several months before she and Gabe met.

Once they did meet, their relationship progressed fairly quickly. After a few weeks, Gabe had asked permission to court Rebekah. And a short time later Rebekah asked her parents for their permission to accept Gabe's offer of marriage. In four months they were married by their parents.

Due to a strong aversion to the possibility of same sex marriage, none of the Pearl children have gotten legally married. Instead of a license all of children, including Rebekah, were married via private contract.

So when the sodomites have come to share in the state marriage licenses, which will eventually be the law, James and Shoshanna(Rebekah's sister and brother-in-law) will not be in league with those perverts. And, while I am on the subject, there will come a time when faithful Christians will either revoke their state marriage licenses and establish an exclusively one man-one woman covenant of marriage, or, they will forfeit the sanctity of their covenant by being unequally yoked together with perverts.

Interestingly, Rebekah Pearl, who has visited several countries, brought literacy to a primitive tribe, wrote songs for a CD, published a book on her missionary work and translated scripture into a new language, is unable to choose who will answer her theological inquires. After her marriage, her father informed her that her husband, Gabe, was now the person who would answer her religious questions.

Although her young adulthood is not abusive as were her early years, it is probably the saddest portion to write especially as I am aware of Rebekah Pearl Anast's current situation.

The next and final article will cover her life after marriage and I will try to put it up in by the beginning of next week.

Rebekah Pearl Part One--Her Childhood

2010-03-11T19:11:00.005-05:00

Not only do the Pearls hold their adult children up as a living testimony to the success of their child training methods but many of their children have written articles for their parents’ magazine, No Greater Joy. The oldest daughter has even written a glowing letter describing how wonderful her childhood was. So, although I do not like causing pain to people who I feel were both physically and mentally abused as children, there are simply too many people who believe that the Pearls are the epitome of what a God fearing family should look like for me to ignore the adult children.

I am starting with Rebekah Pearl Anast, the oldest daughter. For years, I have been concerned with her. Something about her writing has always made me feel sad for her. I am using information gleaned from the Pearls’ book, To Train Up A Child, the website, No Greater Joy and the Anasts’ own site, 7xsunday to describe both her early years and present life.

In their book, To Train Up A Child, the Pearls describe their four month old daughter as being mobile at an unusually young age. Instead of putting up a gate to prevent the young Rebekah from climbing the steps, her parents switched her tiny body.(Meaning that hit her with a flexible stick) As she grew older, her father’s method of keeping his children from drowning was to allow them to fall into a pond. If his children were too well balanced to take the plunge, he gleefully pushed them into the water (again from To Train Up A Child).

His method of gun safety was similar in practice to his lesson in water safety. Michael writes in his book, To Train Up A Child. With our first toddler, I placed an old, unused and empty, single-shot shot-gun in the living room corner. After taking the toddler through the "No" saying, hand-switching sessions, they knew guns were always off limits. Every day they played around the gun without touching it. I never had to be concerned with their going into someone else's house and touching a gun. I didn't gun-proof my house, I gun-proofed my children. I am not certain why the Pearls insisted on such a dangerous practice in their own home.

Part of the Pearls’ methods includes teaching children to always show joy. Michael accomplished this outer show of mindless happiness by playing a strange game with his kids. He had his children follow a series of commands such as sit, stand, touch the door knob, don’t touch the door knob. It sounds like the game that most of us played in school, Simon Says, until you read that Michael had a switch in hand ready to spank any child that didn’t obey with a smile and cheerful demeanor.

I have taught the children to obey first and ask questions later. When they were small and I put them through paces, they learned to immediately do what I said. If they ever failed to instantly obey a command, I would "drill" them. "Sit down. Don't speak until I tell you to." Understand, I was not taking out frustrations. It was all done in the utmost pleasantness and usually even fun. "Stand up," I would say. "Now come here. Go touch the door." And, before they could get there, "Sit." Plop, down they would go. "Now, go to your rooms and clean them up." Just like little, proud soldiers, off they would go to the task.
If one of them should fail in his attitude, he would be spanked--without haste or hostility, mind you. Negligence or clumsiness was a time for patience and grace, but lazy rebellion was punished with the rod.

Some people might wonder why his children haven’t rebelled but that is where the truly insidious part of Michael’s methods come into play. The Pearls have discovered that children respond to love and attention. All children want their parents’ approval, affection and time. Not only were his children taught to deny their own emotions and only express joy but they have been taught that love is dependent on their acting in an approved manner. It doesn't matter that the book, To Train Up A Child, sounds like a manual for potential brainwashers or that the Pearls use methods from behavioral science to 'train' their children. Outsiders are willing to accept the fantasy that following the Pearls will produce perfect, happy kids.

At one point, the Pearls income was so low that they were forced to eat what might have been cat food. Rebekah describes this time period on her forum, 7xsunday under the thread called, How is Becca? When my family first moved near the Amish community in TN, I was 14 years old. The first winter we had cabbage, wheat, raw milk, and canned cat food or poor quality tuna (the cans were missing labels when we bought them and we couldn't tell for sure if it was cat food or tuna.)

It doesn't appear that either Pearl held down a paying job during this time period. Although I am uncertain, I think that this is the time period in which they were trying to start their ministry and magazine. Most responsible parents would either put their dreams on hold or one of them would find employment outside of their new business.

In 1974, Micheal Pearl announced to his wife that they would homeschool their young family. Debbi took up her husband's suggestion and began teaching her children at home. Rebekah has written that she suspects that she was dyslexic. She even jokingly claims that she would have been forced to ride the short bus if she had attended public school.

Rebekah writes, I never spent a day locked away in my own introspection (Mom was sure to intrude!). Despite the fact that I can no longer find the post, Rebekah has written on the forum, Well Tell Me, that she had trouble with daydreaming. Perhaps Debbi felt that her daughter had a real attention problem but I wonder if was it just another way to control their daughter. Even her inner thoughts were not off limits to her parents.

The Pearls certainly had a problem with boundaries.In the article Safeguarding Your Children, Rebekah remembers, Dad built our house so that all the bedroom doors facing the main living room/family room. None of our doors had locks on them until we were older, and then only the girls. We were never allowed to spend time in our rooms behind closed doors. The door could only be closed for five minutes of clothes changing. If a door was closed for a longer period of time, Dad was likely to walk in unannounced to see what we were up to. One has to wonder what their father thought his children were going to do if they were left alone for a few minutes. To me, this lack of any privacy shows an extreme need to control not only their children's life but their private thoughts as well.

By the way, the same article describes how Michael Pearl presented prostitution to his children. During a trip to Memphis, Rebekah observed a woman being slapped by a man. Despite the fact that No Greater Joy brags about the manliness of the Pearl men, Michael did not step forward to help the woman nor did he search for a pay phone to call the police. Instead he uses the opportunity to teach his kids about prostitution. She’s a prostitute,” Dad told us. “He’s a pimp. She works for him, selling her body to lascivious men who will burn in hell, so that she can continue to buy drugs to satisfy her addiction. God hates prostitution and pornography, kids. It destroys lives and families.” I think that he taught his children to stand idly by while people are being hurt.

Instead of being the wonderful fantasy life that the Pearls try to present to their followers, Rebekah's childhood sounds nightmarish. I have no idea why anyone would want this for their children.

In the next installment, I will continue the Rebekah Pearl story.

Rebekah's Dreaming Awake Blog

2010-03-07T18:33:00.000-05:00

Michael Pearl holds his own children up as examples of the good that can come from his child training methods. I thought it appropriate to explore what his children are now doing.

In her blog, Dreaming Awake, Rebekah Pearl Anast, posts under the name Ruby Archuletta. My real name is Rebekah Anast. I am an author and freelance writer for homeschool magazines. She doesn't claim in this particular post that her dreams are prophetic but if you read through her answers to questions that people leave on her blog, it appears she does consider herself a prophetess.

dreaming-awake.com/index.php?itemid=95(you have to add the www. at the beginning of the address.)

The majority of the dreams are troubling accounts of the end of civilization. There is rape and desperate parents hurting their children. At the very least, Rebekah has a very scary view of the world. It makes me wonder what is going on in her life to make Rebekah have so many frightening dreams. If there are any psychologists who visit this site, I would love to know their opinion on Rebekah's mental state. I am not saying that she is insane, but she does sound as if she has a very unhealthy mindset.

This is a typical dream listed on the site. I took the www. out of the address so you have to add it back in.

dreaming-awake.com/index.php?itemid=134&catid=10

I dreamed that I was asleep and then awoke to a regular day. Time passed and I saw events come to pass that are prophesied in Scripture. I was distressed to see people I love experiencing horrific distress. Sickness, famine, war, death... These are just words. How can I describe the way famine looks? The way pain-induced insanity rings in the ears? How violence upon loved ones breaks the mind? I was overwhelmed with grief because I had not warned the people enough to convince them to leave the cities and the coasts... grieved that they had not believed me. It was too much to bear.

I awoke with huge relief that it had been only a dream, and had not yet happened.

So I went about my day and thought about the dream. Time passed, and I saw the same events come to pass that I had dreamed about... and then saw again the people I love experiencing the most traumatizing violence and death. I couldn't bear it... and so I woke again with relief that it was just another dream.

I lay in the bed crying and praying for the people, and then got up to go about my day... and was horrified to see the end coming so quickly. It was just like I had dreamed, but with more detail and involving people that are very dear to me.

A friend and her husband wanted to show us a place that they had purchased out in the rural mountains of the East. I was impressed with their choice of a house. It was stone, and very rural. People were trying to talk them out of living so far away from friends and family, but they believed bad times were coming, and wanted to live rurally. They were showing us the house they had bought, and we told them that it was going to get really bad in the East, but that the place they had chosen was pretty good, for that area of the US.

Time passed and violence fell on the land. We were separated from friends and family in the East, but I saw how it went with them. I saw many of the younger men leave their families to go fight in small groups to help defend the country. It was a noble cause. But the end was prophesied. They died. I saw my friend starving. Her youngest had died earlier, by disease I think. She had no one to care for them or hunt for food. She didn't know what wild things were edible. She was living in a rural "safe" place, but had not seen anyone alive in a long time. She knew her husband must be dead. She and her 7 year old child sat listlessly waiting for death. The child was starving to death.

The woman looked at her child and thought "I should just kill her, so she won't go through the pain and suffering of death." So she did. Then she looked at the child's body and thought, "Why not eat the body? Why not?"

I saw the end ahead of her... I saw the relief coming. It was just beyond the reach of mortality... or maybe not... and I saw the endless ages in which she would live with the knowledge that she had eaten her own child. I thought, "these are the tears he wipes away." And I began to cry.

I woke up crying. I cried all day. I'm still crying for the people that just don't believe what is coming could be that bad.

My Comments On Michael Pearl's Post

2010-03-06T18:20:00.000-05:00

Even my chickens are laughing . . . well, actually it more like cackling, because they just laid another organic egg for my breakfast and they know that it was that same piece of ¼ inch plastic supply line that trained the dogs not to eat chicken....

I am pretty certain that whacking dogs with a quarter inch supply line is considered animal abuse.

My five grown children are laughing at your foolish, uninformed criticism of God’s method of child training, for their kids—

Many Pearl followers claim that Michael's happy adult children are proof that he and his wife have done a wonderful job and must know how to raise perfect children. The problem is that his daughter, Rebekah, has left an online paper trail proving that she does have some serious issues.

I will post about Rebekah soon.

Spare The Rod And A Thank You

2010-03-06T11:40:00.008-05:00

Here is an article from a woman whose parents used the Pearl's methods in their family. Tulip Girl has been very vocal about speaking out against the Pearls. Here is another excellent article on the subject. I think that it is very important that parents understand that there are Christians who are crying out against the Pearls.

I want to thank everyone who has spoken so kindly to me about my doubts. You guys are great.

Michael Pearl Answering His Critics.

2010-03-05T18:13:00.003-05:00

This is from Michael Pearl's facebook page. It is his answer to another child's death. Even if he believes that his child training methods are not at fault, I would assume that he would express sorrow and horror that anyone misunderstood him. Instead of answering his critics, he writes a rather arrogant post which doesn't even mention the little girl's death.

It has come to may attention that a vocal few are decrying our sensible application of the Biblical rod in training up our children. I laugh at my caustic critics, for our properly spanked and trained children grow to maturity in great peace and love.

Numbered in the millions, these kids become the models of self-control and discipline, highly educated and creative—entrepreneurs that pay the taxes your children will receive in entitlements. When your children finally find an honest mechanic or a trustworthy homebuilder, it will be one of ours.

When your children apply for a job it will be at a company our children founded. When they go to a doctor, it will be one of our Christian children that heals them with cutting edge innovation. When your adult kids go for therapy it will be one of our kids-become-psychologist that directs them to the couch and challenges them to release their self-loathing and embrace hope for a better tomorrow. When your children grow old and realize their mortality and seek to make peace with their Creator, it will be one of our children that shares with them the message of God’s love and forgiveness.

My five grown children are laughing at your foolish, uninformed criticism of God’s method of child training, for their kids—my 17 grandkids—are laughing . . . because that is what they do most of the time. They laugh when Daddy is coming home. The laugh when it is time to do more homeschooling. They laugh when it is time to practice the violin and piano. They laugh when they see their Big Papa coming (that’s me) because Big Papa is laughing and they don’t care why just as long as he laughs with them.

My granddaughters laugh with joy after giving their baby dolls a spanking for “being naughty” because they know their dolls will grow up to be the best mamas and daddies in the world—just like them.

People all around the world, in places like Russia, China, Germany, New Zealand, Guatemala, Peru, Africa, and fifty other countries are laughing with joy because after applying the Biblical principles found in our books they finally have happy and obedient children.

Even my chickens are laughing . . . well, actually it more like cackling, because they just laid another organic egg for my breakfast and they know that it was that same piece of ¼ inch plastic supply line that trained the dogs not to eat chicken....

Should I Close My Blog

2010-03-04T01:30:00.003-05:00

I would like some honest opinions.

Lately, I have not been posting any articles. The reason is that I have been seriously questioning my faith. I have tried very hard to make certain that anything posted on my blog was in line with Catholic teaching. Regardless of my believes, I think that the religious articles can still be used by faithful Catholics. But I don't want to be a hypocrite and give anyone the impression that I am not having doubts.

Although I won't go into the specifics of my spiritual life, I will say that there is much about Catholicism that I still find beautiful. From the time that I was small, it was always Catholics who reached out to help me, often without any intent to convert me. They were just being kind. There is no anger in my heart toward the Catholic Church.

My doubts are about Christianity in general, so it isn't a question of changing denominations. Until I work this out, I will try and stay away from writing religious articles. Everyone finds peace and comfort in their own way and I would never jeopardize another person's faith.

So, what do you all think? Should I close this blog down?

Another Death Attributed To The Pearls

2010-03-03T19:56:00.010-05:00

Four years ago a small child named Sean Paddock was killed by his mother before his fifth birthday. His adoptive mother, Lyn Paddock was a follower of self proclaimed child experts, Michael and Debbi Pearl.

Because neither Michael or his wife advised parents to child suffocate children in blankets some might be not see the couple's liability in the toddler's death. But reading through their website, No Greater Joy, it is easy to see that a certain harmful mindset is encouraged. Although I do not wish to detract from Lyn Paddock's culpability in anyway, it is important to understand what influences drove her. Certain personality types are susceptible to unquestioningly following an authority figure even if there seems to be no logic in doing so.

I am going to let the Pearls' words speak for themselves. You can link on their site and find the quotes so that you know I am not changing the meaning by quoting these lines out of context.

This is from an article entitled Different Techniques to Control Parents. The Pearls are speaking about a three and four year old child.

Sit on her, if you have to, and slowly explain that you will not tolerate this resistance. Explain in a normal tone (She will eventually stop screaming and listen) that you are going to give her, say, five licks for the original offense and an additional two licks for the fit. Slowly apply the five licks, counting out loud. When I say slowly, I mean with a thirty second gap between each lick and a calm explanation to the screaming child that you are not the least impressed except that you are going to spank harder and she still gets the additional two licks plus one more for her ongoing screaming

The next quote is from an article entitled Too Young To Spank. At first I thought that Michael Pearl was saying that some children are too young to spank but I was wrong. The Pearls do not consider all hitting to be spanking. Sometimes in Pearl speak, hitting is training not spanking. You have to keep that double speak in mind when you read their writings, if not the quotes by Michael will seem to contradictory.

At first Michael states:When is a child too young to spank?” Based on my definition of “spanking,” I can answer the question. A child is too young to spank when spanking is not profitable to the child. Of course, the same applies to a child of any age. "

But then he writes about a six month old who dumps his bowl of food on the floor:

So we watch him, knowing his propensity to selfish compulsion. When he seizes his bowl with intentions of dumping it, swat the offending hand with a little instrument (light wooden spoon, rubber spatula, flexible tubing less than a quarter inch in diameter, or any instrument that will cause an unpleasant sting without leaving any marks). As you swat the offending hand, say “No” in a normal commanding voice. The tone is more important than the word―not angry―but decisive. Children understand the temperament in your tone before they are born, and will recognize it. This swat is not punishment. Probably, it will not even cause the little guy to cry. He will be shocked and stop any action in which he is engaged. Explain to him that he is not to throw his food onto the floor. If he again makes an attempt, swat his hand again and say, no. The third time is the charm. He now knows that “No” uttered in a commanding tone, is something serious. He will not try that stunt again—at least not for this meal

It should be noted that in their book To Train Up A Child, the Pearls write about switching their four month old daughter. From their writing it appears that spanking young children is permissible as long as the parents use the word, training.

In this article, he describes a very young infant cries as being manipulative.

At less than three-months-old this little girl had discovered the power of emotional manipulation.

He instructs young mothers how they should respond to their infants instead.

This wise mother decided to retrain her three-month-old baby. She laid her down knowing she would cry. The mother calmly ignored the crying. When Suzzie stopped crying and became cheerful, Mother picked her up and played with her. When Suzzie was placed in the crib and again cried, the mother again ignored her until she became cheerful. Through a several day process of never paying her any attention when she cried, Suzzie stopped crying to get her way. Now, four-month-old Suzzie never cries to get her way. Why go to the trouble if it doesn’t work? She is trained to maintain a good attitude. This training has extended to every area of Suzzie’s life.

Although this is clearly abusive to most of us, the Pearls' not only promise that their methods will produce perfectly behaved children who will adore their parents but warn their readers that not following their advice will lead to troubled teenagers and sorrow for the parents. Their message is very tempting to some people. When you add to the mix that the Pearls claim that their methods are taken directly from the Bible, you have a very dangerous mix.

In February of this year another couple, The Schatzs, were charged with the death of their 7-year old adopted daughter, Lydia and the torture of their 11-year-old daughter, Zariah. The older child was beaten so badly that she had to be hospitalized because of the possibility of renal failure. The sisters were beat with a quarter inch plumbing line as suggested in this article by the Pearls.

The rod we speak of is a plumbing supply line that can be bought at any hardware store or large department store. It is a slim, flexible, plastic tubing that supplies water to sinks, and toilets. Ask for "¼ inch supply line." They cost less than one dollar. I always give myself one swat before I swat the child to remind myself how much force to exert. It stings the skin without bruising or damaging tissue. It’s a real attention-getter. Michael demonstrates its use in our new Seminar videos

I am going to try to cover the Pearls in more detail on my blog. Not only does this family's business need to be shut but this couple ultimately need to be held responsible for these two children's deaths.

Where You Can Find My Articles on Catholicism

2009-10-20T00:26:00.003-04:00

I have a series of articles that I have entitled 'Why Do Catholics...". You can find the series listed among my Blog Contents to the left. I have many, many dear friends who are not Catholic and are either curious about our practices or have major misconceptions about Catholicism. Some of the questions I cover are: Ashes on the forehead, repetitive prayers, ,Crucifix, purgatory negating Christ's sacrifice, What is Advent?, Worshipping Statues , Sacramentals(not sacaraments) , Purgatory, Why do Catholics Call Priest Father? , The Eucharist, Purgatory, One More Time
Scriptures Dealing with Purgatory , Why Do Catholics Genuflect, Do Catholics Believe in Faith Alone?

I am about to cover a biggie for my non Catholic friends: Mary. Yes, I know that some people mistakenly think that Catholics put to much emphasis on the mother of Jesus. The first article in this series is found here: Mary, Mother of God , Mary part II,

Also, because of the popularity of the movie, Fireproof I have included an article about Kirk Cameron. Catholics need to be aware that he does not believe that they are Christians and his program, The Master's Way seeks to lead them away from the Church. Yes, Mr Cameron, Catholics Are Christian.

My goal is to write out several articles dealing with my Protestant(mainly Baptists) friends concerns in this area. Please be patient with me. I home school, even in the summer, and am busy with my family of four kids and three dogs. I will do my best to get these articles up quickly.

The Tragic Case of Carri Chimelewski

2009-07-30T18:28:00.006-04:00

I started two different post about this news report and erased them both. This particular story is so sad and tragic that it is difficult to write down my thoughts. http://www.fox59.com/wxin-unassisted-bathtub-births-072309,0,6360522.story

Apparently, there are some members of extreme fundamentalism who are distrustful of the modern medical establishment. So, frightened are they of doctors and hospitals that they opt to give birth at home.

Of course, I realize that there are midwives who are well trained and careful to follow the regulations of the states in which they work. Women decide to give birth at home for a variety of reasons. My intent is not to criticise the different choices that are open to women. But there is a vast difference between a midwife who has attended an accredited institution and is prepared to turn away clients whose health make home birth dangerous, and a midwife who refuses to follow any of her state's restrictions because she feels she has a mandate from God.

Thirty-seven year-old Carri Chimelewski of Richmond, Indiana was so proud of her growing family she started a website posting pictures of her latest pregnancy online.

Most of us know that an older mother has special needs that might make her a bad choice for giving birth at home. She would need to be closely monitored, if she did opt for home birth. That apparently didn't happen in the case of Carri Chimelewski.

Determined to give birth at home under the care of unlicensed midwife, Brandi Wood, the mother ignored very troubling signals that she needed to see a qualified professional. She wrote on her blog: "My body is full my legs can only take so much." Her midwife dismissed her concerns as fatigue and assured her that she must be carrying twins. The Chimelewski's baby died(there was only one) and Carri almost lost her own life.

One statement in the article especially infuriated me. She believed that God would handle any problems she had with her pregnancy. Followers also say Carri dismissed doctors as idolatry. We are blessed to be born into a country with decent medical care. Not using that care is refusing a gift from God. For goodness sakes, the book of Luke was written by a physician. I can't even fathom the reasoning behind her idea that doctors are idolatry.

I have included the link to a site called No Longer Quivering. The owner was a member of an extreme fundamentalists group(I would call it a cult) that encouraged women to give birth at home. Luckily, the blog owner is alive to report on her experiences and warn other women from following her example .http://2spb.blogspot.com/2009/07/vyckies-story-part-20-though-he-slay-me.html

I really wish that I could express how deeply this story bothered me. It is so tragic and unnecessary. It also makes me angry. This newborn should not have died. Poor Vyckie over at No Longer Quivering should never have felt that God's will was that she be miserable and risk her life. There is nothing biblical that states that we should avoid the wonderful advances that have been made in health care.

But what saddens me most is that there are women now, even as you are reading this, who are forgoing medical care because they believe that they are called from God to do so.

Before You Meet Prince Charming

2009-07-09T12:20:00.008-04:00

I am linking to the reviews of a book that I have meant to read for a long time. It is called Before You Meet Prince Charming, by Sarah Mally. The comments on Amazon were all very positive about this book, so I was surprised to read this blogger's viewpoints.

I am gratified that I have been saved from spending money to purchase this book for my girls. There are views in this book that I do not wish my daughters to absorb.

I am disturbed by Sarah Mally's claims that a girl needs to be rescued. Excuse me, unless something dire happens, we don't need to be rescued. Being rescued implies that there is some sort of dangerous tragedy happening in your life, like a house fire or being held at gunpoint. Certainly, please help anyone that is suffering from such atrocities. But if a young woman is simply living her day to day life, then she shouldn't need to be rescued. What the heck should she be saved from anyway? Doing dishes, mowing the grass, cleaning up after her dog? What? Why would a man desire a woman who wants to be saved from her regular life?

Also, I am troubled by the classism presented in the book. The nobility are all good and all wise. The snobbery that is present throughout this book is very evident. Anyone who disagrees with the King's parenting choices, according to the author, is either jealous or guilty about their own lives. The poor peasants are seen as easily led and tempted. So far, I am rooting for the commoners in this book to revolt, but I doubt that will happen. This type of thinking actually sounds like the reason that countries have rebelled against their leaders.

The mother-Queen-is rarely seen in this story. I don't know why that is so, but it troubles me that she is so little involved in her daughter's life. By the way, the fact that the Princess has no name irritates me also. Actually, I really disliked this goody good young woman. I was sort of hoping that the alligator that lived in the moat would eat her. Alas, the gator appears to be a vegetarian because he-according to Miss Mally- eats pond scum.

I am equally amazed that all festivities in the book are considered evil. Getting together with other young women and having fun is called evil. That is a bit strong. Having fun just for the sake of enjoyment is not a sin. Even in Franny Burney's works(1700's) the women went to balls and had social picnics. I have no idea why Miss Mally is against events where young people can meet and socialize.

Mally implies that those who don't follow her guidelines will automatically be unhappy. A lot of us dated and ended up happily married. To claim that there is one way to find a spouse when the human population is full of a variety of personalities, cultures and circumstances seems to be very narrow minded. It makes me wonder about the author's experience level with other people. Perhaps she isn't purposely being dishonest but has had limited contact with those who hold different views then her own.

What concerns me most is this quote from her book:A girl can defraud by dressing in a way so that boys will notice us, flirting with our eyes, or even just by the way we smile at a certain time or laugh at every jokeThat sounds much more extreme. This would be troublesome if something happened to a young girl like a sexual assault. The victim might think that she deserved her attack because she smiled at the man.

I realize that this is a popular book among many Christians. But there are apparent issues within the book that should be discussed before allowing our daughters to read the book.

Dealing With Past Sexual Abuse

2009-04-14T09:54:00.003-04:00

There is an excellent series of articles over on the blog site, Abba's Little Girl, that deal with the sexual abuse that the blog owner suffered as a child. The series is dubbed Out Of Darkness and it is very helpful for those who have endured past abuse.

One note, the owner is a convert to Catholicism. Her father, and abuser, was a Baptist minister. She does NOT attempt to paint the majority of Baptists as perverts; I would not link to her site if she was using her experiences to castigate the entire Baptists denomination. It was her former Protestant Church, in fact, which encouraged her to confront her family with her past.

Here is part of her very first article on her experiences. I am printing it in hopes that others in pain from their childhoods will want to explore her series.

It has not been easy discussing this facet of my experience. In fact, I think this is the one facet that continues to be painful. I have heard people comment often that I seem to be able to discuss my experiences calmly and without visible signs of pain. That is because the Lord has done such an amazing job of taking the pain away and I have worked through forgiveness and recovery.

But the one area that continues to be painful and which affects my every day life to this day is the accusation my mother and subsequently my brother have made that I have been the victim of False Memory Syndrome.

You cannot imagine (unless you're been through it) what it is like to have your own family not believe you about something so devastating as being molested. To watch the perpetrator sit quietly by and watching the other members of the family castigate you while he withholds the truth feels like having a pillow held over your face.

To this day, when I express myself about something that means a lot to me, and I find myself not believed, I experience that same feeling of suffocation. I have to guard against the reaction and remind myself that the opinions of others do not determine truth.

Yes Mr Cameron, Catholics Are Christians

2009-03-04T07:40:00.011-05:00

Over the weekend I saw the movie, Fireproof, and was pleasantly surprised. The movie had some very funny moments and the suspense scenes were very exciting, plus it had a positive message. There was no anti Catholic content and it was a movie that could be viewed with your children in the room.

But, although I would not hesitate to suggest the movie to my Catholic friends, I do have a very sad caveat. Apparently Mr. Cameron, like some evangelicals, do not consider Catholics Christian.

These are Cameron's own words detailing his evangelizing of a young Catholic:

In my younger days as a Christian, I probably would have felt the need to debate issues of Catholicism, such as the Apocrypha, praying to saints, Mary's perpetual virginity, the infallibility of the Pope, etc. before I even got to the subject of the gospel (which is the power of God to salvation). But I know from experience that focusing on sideline issues eats up precious time and can waste an important opportunity. Instead, I remembered what Tiger had taught me in the airport - "Sometimes, to accomplish more you have to see less." Like Jesus did so many times when he spoke with unbelievers, I blocked out the distracting arguments, and focused upon two things only. My goal was to help this young man (1.) see his sin clearly and thoroughly (which allows him to understand his personal need of a Savior) and (2.) see God's amazing love demonstrated towards him on the Cross. By ignoring the distractions of religious traditions and fixing my sights upon communicating the pure message of the gospel to this man, we were able to accomplish much, much more

Because of the popularity of Fireproof among many Christians, especially evangelicals, expect to see Kirk Cameron's methods of evangelizing to Catholics to become more prevalent. If you haven't seen his TBN show, The Way of the Master, his tactics involve some manipulation.

The Christian walks up to a nonChristian(that apparently includes Catholics, Methodists, Lutherans and Anglicans) and pretends to engage them in honest inquiry. Of course, this is a lie. The questioner actually has a set way that they hope that the conversation goes.

Normally, the "nonChristian" target is asked if they think that they are good. Most people, caught off guard, will respond with an affirmative. After all, who is going to go through their faults and doubts with a complete stranger. The questioner then proceeds through the ten commandments to prove how the target is not actually a good person. If for example, the "nonChristian" admits that they have occasionally told a white lie, the questioner then immediately explains that this makes the person a liar. The hoped for goal would be that the person will admit that they are a hopeless sinner and need Christ.

I am not against witnessing. As Christians we are commanded to reach out to nonChristians, but even if this was not directed at my fellow Catholics, I would find such deceptive tactics troubling. If what we believe is true then we can have honest, straight forward dialogue with people. There is no need to trick people into becoming Christians.

Further though, I am offended and saddened that some evangelicals insist on viewing Catholics and certain other denominations as not being Christian. It drives me nuts that some nonCatholics believe that anyone who does not interpret the Bible in the manner that they do is not a "Bible believing Christian." One of the surprises that I received when first attending a mass was how much scripture is incorporated in the service. Catholics have three Bible readings each mass. This is not simply a few, out of context verses, but a reading from the Old Testament, from the New Testament and the Gospels. We also recite a Psalm. So, yes, a Roman Catholic Church is a Bible Believing Church. If anything we have MORE Bible then our Evangelical brothers and sisters.

As far as acknowledging our sins....um Mr. Cameron have you not listened to popular culture's opinion of our Catholic faith? Most nonChristians consider Catholics a little to focused on our sins. (I don't) It is ironic that a Catholic, who has probably recited the Penitential rite asking for God's mercy and forgiveness at every mass and who undergoes an examination of conscious before each confession, would not know that they need Christ's mercy and forgiveness. Did the Catholic youth in the article never attend a mass?

Mr Cameron's attempts to evangelize Catholics away from the Church is why some of us are wary when Evangelicals wish to fellowship with us. This is sad. As Christians we need to stand together and be united. Instead, I have to wonder why the sweet Baptist lady invited me hear a service with her. Is it because she enjoys my company and respects that I am a Christian or is she performing some sort of stealth witnessing. Yes, I have been the uncomfortable victim of such tactics.

I find it somewhat amusing that Mr. Cameron has given up attacking the issues of Catholicism that he disagrees with. Perhaps this is because there are very logical and Biblical reasons why Catholics believe as they do. Hopefully, sites such as mine will continue to give the 'whys' behind our faith. Because he can't attack our beliefs directly, he has to rely on deceptive methods.

If I sound mad, well I am. It angers me that I do not play God and judge other Christians salvation, even though I disagree with their interpretations of the Bible. Yet the same courtesy is not extended by SOME Evangelicals to their Catholic brethren. Worse yet, I do admire that Cameron is trying to live his religious faith honestly in Hollywood so, it saddens me even more that he is blatantly against our beautiful faith.

I would suggest that any Catholic who reads this blog begin a prayer chain for Mr. Cameron. It isn't impossible that Grace could soften his heart toward our Church.

Why Do Catholics Genuflect?

2009-03-03T13:45:00.004-05:00

If you are a Protestant who has ever attended a Catholic Church then you have probably noticed the parishioners executed a strange sort of bow. Before entering the pew, your Catholic friend probably dropped to his/her right knee while crossing themselves. I promise you, this is not done with the intent of tripping the poor, unsuspecting Protestant visitor so that we can silently laugh. LOL

The practice appears to have started during the Middle Ages when it was common to genuflect to people in positions of power. Gradually the practice entered the Church where it has remained as a form of devotion and respect to Christ

When most Protestants say that God is present in their church they normally are speaking about the presence of Holy Spirit. Because I believe my nonCatholic friends when they tell me that they are Christian, I don't doubt that they experience grace in their lives and churches.

But when Catholics-and some Lutherans and Methodists- say that God is present in our Church we mean that Christ, through the Eucharist, is actually physically present in our mass. Under the guise of bread and wine, we get the opportunity to literally touch our Lord. When we bend our knee, we are expressing our reverence. Being in the physical presence of Jesus Christ is an honor. Genuflection is an act of humility. Catholics take seriously the verse that states that 'Every knee shall bow."

I should add that most most of my experiences with nonCatholic Churches have been with evangelicals. So, if your particular Protestant Church has practices that are similar to Catholics, I apologize for being overly general in my description of Protestant practices.

Do Catholics Believe in Faith Alone?

2008-12-29T09:52:00.011-05:00

I am a convert so if I make a mistake in the following article, please do not hesitate to correct me.

A few evangelicals accuse Catholics of having a works based faith. It is assumed that because Catholics put emphasis on obedience to God that we must therefore believe that it is our own efforts that save us. If we Catholics really thought that our own actions could get us to heaven then other Christians would have a right to criticize us.

Catholics take Eph 2:8-10 seriously. For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them. It is grace alone that justifies us, and that Grace gets applied to us when we have faith.

A search in the Catholic Catechism for the word justification will yield evidence that Catholics do not believe that our own human works can save us. From the Cathecisim 1987 The grace of the Holy Spirit has the power to justify us, that is, to cleanse us from our sins and to communicate to us "the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ"... and 1996 Our Justification comes from the grace of God, Grace is favor, the free and undeserved help that God gives us to respond to his call to become children of God....

Yet, I still occasionally have Protestant friends argue that I, as a Catholic, believe that my works alone save me Why such confusion when every Catholic source I have ever read puts emphasis on the fact that it is Grace which saves us?

It's my opinion that the real problem is how the word, "faith", is defined. Faith is more then simple belief. James 2:19 You believe that God is one. You do well; the demons also believe, and shudder.

Faith is not just belief, it isn't just a strong, emotional reaction. Yes, I realize that some people define the word, faith to mean feeling really positive that God exists and that Jesus is his son. The problem with this definition of faith is that it leaves people confused when they have times of doubt or spiritual dry spells. It also leaves some people feeling as if they should always be at the top of an emotional high in order to have real faith.

When we read the New Testament as a whole, an entire book, instead of taking verses out of context to discover tortured theological truths(How is that for an Alliteration?)we discover that
the Bible speaks a lot about what we have to do as Christians not just how much belief that we should place in Christ. This is because active faith is not just believing, its also a combination of works. Belief and works make up faith.

Once, a man I knew told me in touching detail how much he adored his wife. He informed me that she was the most beautiful woman that he had ever met, she was perfect in every way. I am sure that he felt some intense emotion for his wife, but I also learned later, from several sources, that he was physically abusing her. So, did her love her? Certainly he felt something for his wife but in order for us to call his feelings love he would have had to acted differently toward her. Most people understand that the individual's personal feelings have to be combined with actions in order to be termed love.

The same is true of faith. Can you really say that an individual has faith if he doesn't obey God? Jesus said, He who has My commandments and keeps them, he it is who loves Me; and he who loves Me shall be loved by My Father, and I will love him, and will disclose Myself to him.

I am sure that many of us have had the experience of listening to a fellow Christian defend their actions with the words, "But God knows my heart." Whether it be adultery or having sex before marriage, certain Christians will put more emphasis on the importance of their feelings toward God and not the obedience that he expects. And no, I am not judging these people, because I am pretty certain that there have been moments in my life when I assumed that God just wanted me to feel his presence without the bother of following his commandments. But can such a person-and I am including my past self- be said to have real faith if they ignore what they must know God wishes them to do?

So, do Catholics believe in faith alone? Do Catholics believe that their faith saves them?

Actually, I don't think that any Christian should say that their faith saves them because that is not what the Bible says. It is God's Grace that saves us. As I wrote before, Grace gets applied to us when we have faith.

I think that instead of the words 'faith alone', Catholics(and many Protestants, by the way) should say that they believe in Grace Alone.

First Time, Cheerful Obedience Rant

2008-12-26T09:47:00.007-05:00

Despite homeschooling and being an exfundamentalists, I was unaware of the concept of either first time obedience or cheerful obedience. It wasn't until some, intrusive older lady tried to 'correct' my parenting that I began to research different "Christian" parenting methods. Apparently some of my former Independent Baptist Church Members were concerned because I counted to three when my younger two girls disobeyed. They wanted my kids to immediately obey with big smiles on their face.

To be honest, their advice creeped me out. I had always got compliments on my kids behavior without expecting them to 'ask how high when I told them to jump". So, I was confused as to why anyone would complain about my parenting methods when they obviously considered my kids polite and well mannered.

What I discovered was that the 'ideal' fundamentalist parent had children who could sit perfectly still and quiet through a hour service, never disturbed talking grownups and obeyed quickly with a big, wide, happy grin. No, my kids are not 'ideal'. Yes, they whine and get grumpy sometimes. We've had issues with them that we have to work on as a family together. But we manage to deal with these problems without breaking our children's spirits down.

Several aspects of my childhood influenced me to strongly disagree with 'cheerful' obedience. (although I think kids and adults should be polite)First, my mother was abusive and she expected quick obedience and for us to hide our emotions. We had to be outwardly happy when we were actually very upset. Startlingly enough, I can understand the motives behind children who kill their parents. At one point, I was very, very angry with my mom, no matter how much I smiled. If my mother had used religion as a basis for her actions, I have no doubt that I would have hated God instead. Emotionally, it is easier for a child to hate an unseen entity then a parent. I wonder how many atheists and pagans were brought up to fear that any expression of anger toward their Christian parents equalled disloyalty to God. What a burden to place on a young child's shoulders.

I've always valued the ability to think for one self and not follow the crowd. My goal as a parent is to teach my kids that rebelling against the societal norm for what one considers morally right is the correct thing to do. Ultimately, I want my children to not just be good but to be noble. Part of being noble is learning to balance respect for authority with the ability to question and perhaps stand against the same authority.

My youngest son went through a period when he felt angry often. We worked with him, discussing the best way to handle anger and how to differentiate between appropriate and inappropriate ways to handle his temper. It took some time but I am grateful that I was able to see that he had a problem. What if he had been trained that the only legitimate emotion for a Christian to feel was happiness? Would he have swallowed down his anger only to have it reemerge when he had power over someone else?

I believe that God gives us warnings by allowing us to feel negative emotions. From a human vantage a situation or person can seem wonderful, but our emotions, instinct-God- is nudging us and trying to warn us. How does an adult brought up to believe that they should deny their emotions and only be cheerful handle situations in which they come under the authority of a evil person masquerading as a Christian? They won't know that they can trust their own instincts or that the icky feelings that they are experiencing might actually be God warning them.

My main problem, though, with cheerful, first time obedience is spiritual. I have trouble asking kids to do something that we as Christian adults do not do. I do not always obey God without whining. When it is cold out, I whine about attending church, I whine about saying my prayers, I whine about a lot of my obedience. God wants our hearts so even if I smile outside, he wants my inner smile and I don't always give it to him. Often the changes that have occurred in me as a Christian were accompanied by a lot of inner tantrums on my part. Learning to forgive my mom was something that I complained, whined and moaned about. I am probably one of God's 'difficult' children. LOL

God understands that we are a work in progress. In first time, cheerful obedience, the parent is expecting more perfection on the part of the child toward a fallible human then the parent is likely giving to God. That really bothers me.

Have The Pearl's Changed Some Of Their Advice?

2008-11-23T15:46:00.007-05:00

On their website, No Greater Joy, the Pearls have a collection of various readers' questions and the responses from Michael and Debbi. The questions typically revolve around marriage and childcare.

One particular Pearl response has been strongly criticized on many blogs. A mother had written to No Greater Joy about the fact that her husband had molested his children. Michael Pearl had answered that the woman should indeed press charges against the husband. If his response had ended with his call for the man to serve time, few people would have had issue with him. Unfortunately his advice continued. He advised the woman to visit the husband in prison and to bring the victims of his crime, their children, on these visits. After the man had served his term, the wife was advised to welcome him back into her home and presumably her bed. Her children would, Michael reasoned, be adults and need no further protection.

Despite the fact that others had covered this particular subject, I wanted to write about it. To my surprise, I can no longer find the letter on their website! The original letter has been replaced by another one written by a mother of seven children. In this letter the Pearls take a much stronger stance against the evil of sexual abuse.

Michael writes: You husband has committed a crime against humanity. You are legally obligated to report this crime to the law. He will be jailed and stand trial; you and the girls will testify against him; he will be sentenced to about 20 years.

Oh my, I agree with Michael Pearl. On their website, the Pearls state that Michael conducts a prison ministry. Perhaps his years of contact with such men has finally convinced him that his original advice was wrong.

I would add that beyond a legal requirement to report the husband, the mother has a ethical and moral responsibility to do so.

Further, Micheal states: If he truly repents and gets saved, and you should choose to forgive him, the girls should never be forced to be in subjection to him again. He forfeited the right to be their father when he committed a crime worthy of death against them

This is much better then the first letter. The children should never be forced to live in the same household with this man again. It doesn't matter what the mother's personal feelings toward her husband are, she has to protect her daughters.

If they choose to forgive and accept him as their father, that would be a blessed thing for them. They have been hurt enough; they shouldn't have to live with the hate and anger. That would mean that his sin is continuing to follow them.

Disappointingly, the above comment is a bit vague and could be read several different ways. I am uncertain exactly what Michael means by 'accepting him as their father." Hopefully, this doesn't mean that the father would be allowed to return home if his minor children wish him to do so. Abusive people are often very manipulative and are not above using emotion and guilt against their victim. Such people should never be allowed access to vulnerable children.

Many wrongly assume that forgiveness means that the wronged individual welcomes the offender back into their life. This is not true. Forgiveness means letting go of the anger and hate that can destroy the innocent victim's life. But the wronged are not required to allow dangerous indiviuals back into their lives.

I would love to know what led to Michael's change of heart. Did he truely have an epiphany? If so, the Pearls should issue a statement on their site for the mothers who followed Michael's original advice. The skeptic in me wonders if this change in attitude is caused by the fact that the Pearls have been investigated by social service. Perhaps they are afraid that if a repeat of the Sean Paddock case reoccurs, they might be liable for their advice.

Hopefully, though, Michael has really had a change of heart and his perspective has changed. I just wish that he had written another article explaining that the older article should not be followed.

The Pearls Advice For A Child Who Strikes Others

2008-11-03T08:54:00.011-05:00

Below is a section taken from the Pearl's book To Train Up A Child, chapter nine. To avoid accusations that I am taking the writer's out of context I have included a link to an online copy of their book. If you have any doubts about what I write, please click on the link.

If you have experience with children, then include how you handled the following situation. Perhaps if an overwhelmed parent comes to this site and finds a variety of approaches to their problems then that parent will be less susceptible to listen The Pearls.

As my wife was counseling with a young mother, I watched a most amazing scene unfold. The first of two children (a two-year-old), upon failing to get attention, picked up a plastic toy wrench and began to pound his mother's arm. Occasionally, he would reach up and poke her in the face.

This isn't amazing. It sounds like normal two year old behavior.

The parent can very briefly model using a wrench correctly and encouraging the child to copy them. When the toddler does so the parent can praise the child and then ask the child for a high five. "Give me a high five for using that toy correctly, son." At least this is what I did when my kids were very young.

If the behavior continued and nothing else worked then I would take the wrench from the child and firmly tell him/her "No, don't hit." Yes, your child will probably cry but be comforted. Once your child understands that his/her parents' no really does mean no then your job as a parent is much easier. You don't have to be overly punitive to teach your child to listen to you. All you have to do is be consistent. By the way, you don't have to take the toy away forever, just for a few hours.

This was not new behavior. We had previously observed these "way of Cain" acts of violence perpetrated on the little brother as well as on the mother.

If this child has a continued problem with striking others then it would seem wise to discover the roots of his behavior. The Pearls give no background about the family. Is the father respectful of the mother? Is the child modeling behavior that he has witnessed in the home? What are his television viewing habits? Some children are more prone then others to copying the violence that they see on tv. Have the parents indicated that certain food, schedule changes etc have a bearing on this child's behavior? Treating only the symptoms without addressing the real problem will only cause the child's negative behavior

Just as an aside, you can prevent some jealousy from an older sibling toward a new baby just by asking the older child to help you. For example, when you change the baby's diaper, have the older child bring you a diaper and praise them for their help. Tell them how lucky the baby is to have such a great and helpful brother/sister.

Considering that Cain killed his brother Abel, I am guessing that the Pearls included the reference as a scare tactic. There is nothing in the bible, after all, about two year old Cain hitting infant Abel.

As the talk continued, little Johnny got tired of assaulting his mother and turned on my wife. After the first blow, almost without diverting her eyes from the mother, and with no change of expression, she picked up a matching plastic toy. This was not to fight back, but to train.

Notice the word "train" in the above section. The Pearls sometimes call physical punishment 'training" instead of spanking, striking or hitting. So, although this story obviously has an adult hitting a child with a plastic wrench, the Pearls can claim that this isn't happening because they are 'training' the child.

The mother is the one who would most benefit from what was about to occur. As little Johnny drove home the next blow, swiftly and with more than matching force, my wife struck

Although spanking might not be the best response to the child's misbehavior, it would be much better for the mom to swat her toddler's bottom then to allow a non relative to strike her son. To prevent sexual abuse, children should know that they can tell an adult who is not their parent that they don't want to be touched.

Also, by picking up the wrench and striking the child, Debbi Pearl has lowered herself to his age. She hasn't taught the child that he shouldn't strike someone with the wrench, just that you shouldn't strike someone who can fight back.

Such surprise! What is this little Johnny feels coming from his arm? Pain! And somehow it is associated with the striking of this toy. Again, Johnny strikes. Again, swift, retribution (training really). Johnny is very tough; so, though he didn't cry, he pulled back his pained arm and examined it carefully. You could see the little mental computer working. As if to test his new theory, again, but with less force, he struck. The immediately returned blow was not diminished in strength. This time, I thought he would cry. No, after looking at his mother, as if to say, "What is this new thing?" he again, and with even less force, struck my wife on the arm. I was thinking, "She will lighten up this time and match his diminished intensity." Again, my wife struck, seemingly, with all the force she could possibly muster without standing for a wind-up.

Even those parents who spank do not strike their child with their full force. To do so would leave bruises. According to Michael Pearl, Debbi is hitting the child with all her strength. I have counted four times that the child was struck in the above section, the last time was with all Debbi's strength.

Johnny, tough enough for special forces, did one of those pained, crying faces covered by a forced smile.

I don't believe this. I think that Michael Pearl's memory is fuzzy. There is no way that a woman could use her full strength to strike a child's arm with a plastic toy without causing the child to scream.

To my amazement, with one-fourth the original force, he again smack my wife. This time, her bottom came off the couch as she drew back to return the blow; and I heard a little karate like wheeze come from somewhere deep inside. I was hoping that Johnny was getting close to learning his lesson. The conversation had about died in anticipation of the outcome. Johnny must have had a Viking lineage, for he continued to trade blows about ten times. On Johnny's part, the blows got lighter and lighter until, after a short contemplative delay, he gave a little tap that was returned with a swift, forceful blow

Again, common sense would tell us that this is false. Debbi Pearl has hit this child so hard that her butt has lifted off the seat. This boy would be bruised. If you don't believe me then please find an adult who is as much larger then you as Debbi must be compared to a two year old. Hand the adult a plastic, toy wrench and have them repeatedly hit you full force on the arm. Remember the blows have to be powerful enough to lift your friend off the couch.

By the way, it sounds like there were 11 blows applied to the child's arm in this section alone. Add these 11 hits to the above four and that makes 15 hard strikes on a two year old by an adult woman. So, your friend has to strike you at least 15 times and many of those blows must be at his full strength.

What is the boy's mother, his supposed protector, doing during the abuse of her child? Sitting quietly, not interfering. After Debbi finishes she hands the wrench to the mother who hits the child two or three more times!

Michael Pearl assures us that,This was not discipline, but training.

Again, notice the word, training.

The child was cheerfully striking with the toy. Though frustrated, he was not angry or mean. Had that been the case, his medicine would have been the rod.

So, worse could have happened to a two year old child?

The returned blows were teaching him that what he was doing was painful and undesirable. He was also being taught that there were others who could give it out better than he. Most little bullies are cured by meeting a bigger bully.

I don't even know how to comment to the above statement. I want to write further on this group but I will have to take a break from them. Reading their material makes me sad.

The Pearls

2008-10-29T18:55:00.000-04:00

I’ve decided to cover the Pearls and their child rearing methods on my website. There are many excellent resources on the web about the Pearls. Tulip Girl immediately comes to mind as a Christian blogger who has written about this subject. Her site is a good starting point for those interested in the Pearls and their ministry.

Because I wish to be fair, I am providing a free, online link to the Pearl’s book, To Train Up A Child. You can also find their website, No Greater Joy, by doing a Google search. If you doubt the validity of any of my criticisms, please check the sources yourself.

I have many beefs with the Pearls. People who are making money off giving child raising advice should be very clear. Yet, the Pearls contradict themselves and are very vague as to what they consider abuse. They also distort the common meaning of some words, making understanding their advice difficult in some instances. For example, the word training is used to replace spanking, especially when they are talking about the punishment of very young babies. This is why one of their adult daughters can honestly report that she was only spanked once despite the fact that her parents describe ‘training’ her at four months old.

There is much on their site that is good, but it is combined with some exceptionally ghastly advice. And for all their commendable talk of tying heart strings, following their recommendations exactly as written could potentially cause an adversarial relationship between parent and child. Although some parents have the ability to pick out what is good in the Pearl’s methods, not everyone is blessed with an ability to discern the good from the bad.

I have some problems with the guilt trips that the Pearls place on parents who do not follow their advice. There is no one way to raise all children. Kids, just like adults, are individuals. Its impossible to say that one methods works with every single child, yet the Pearls do seem to indicate that anyone who does not follow their methods are doomed to have horrible children.

A lot of people, even those who disagree with Michael and Debbi Pearl, have commented that it is obvious that the Pearls love their children. My response is, so what? As an adult from a highly dysfunctional household, I can attest that abusive parents and spouses often love their victims. Granted the love might be twisted and selfish but the abuser does believe that what they feel is genuine love. I, for instance, never doubted that my mother loved me. Her love did not make her less abusive, but it did make it more difficult for me to overcome the results of her abuse.

Also, my siblings and I were the ‘good children’. Due to fear of my mother, we did not argue with her or show disrespect. We were very outwardly obedient children and my mother got many compliments on how well mannered we were. I was very afraid of my mom and her temper. I decided early on as a mother that I would rather have less well behaved children, who were independent and could think for themselves, then to have children who were perfect.

So much has been written about the Pearls that I don’t think it would be effective to write an article detailing both their faults and strengths. My plan is to take a few articles from the Pearls’ website and segments from their book and discuss them in more detail. I haven’t seen anything like that done on other blogs.

Let me admit right now. I am not a perfect parent with perfect kids. I do not have a degree in child psychology or in theology. I really don’t have an opinion on spanking either. My problems with the Pearls have nothing to do with corporal punishment.

I was an abused child and I don’t want future children to be abused by well meaning but overly zealous parents. it is an emotional issue for me. Hopefully any discourse on the subject can be polite and civil. I understand that most parents who follow the Pearls are well intentioned. Hopefully, I can do a good job of covering the Pearls.

Purgatory And My Mom

2008-10-25T08:26:00.004-04:00

Purgatory is especially comforting to me. I believe that my mother was a Christian. Granted, I could not see into her heart, but she had a strong love for God. Unfortunately, my mother had a mental disorder that kept her from seeing life clearly.

Describing my mother is a difficult task. She was an extreme. When she was good, she was nearly saintly, but when she was bad, she was a horrible, vindictive, manipulative human being.

Both homeless and stray animals were brought home by my mom. Admittedly, my mom's judgement was off. She allowed one man to live with us who drank all our liquid cold medicines, hid alcohol bottles all through the house and brought porn into our home. His relationship with our mom was platonic, she simply felt sorry for him. But despite her good intentions, this man was a horrible, frightening person to have around young children.

Once she became concerned that another single mother did not have enough money to be Santa for her children. Even though we had very little money ourselves, she decided that we could fix up old toys and leave them anonymously in a box outside the lady's house. It was a wonderful lesson for us in not expecting credit or praise for our good deeds. Mom always stressed that we treat others with kindness and empathy.

My mother entertained us with silly accents(she was actually very good at mimicry) and funny stories. She could turn the worst events of her life into humorous antidotes. I learned the skill of coping with life's problems with laughter from her.

But this same mother could turn on a dime and become, abusive, cruel and manipulative. From the time that I was 11, she started telling me that I was a slut and a whore. I was also cold and unfeeling, at least according to mom.

When my mother was angry, she was a very frightening person. There was a period in my preadolescence, when I slept under my bed because my mother had indicated that she wanted to kill us. When I grew older, I became more concerned with my younger siblings and would sleep sitting up so that I could wake and protect my sister and brother.

Mom was very addicted to pain medicine. In order to get prescriptions she taught me how to fake migraine headaches so she could get more medicine. One time she sent me downtown by way of city bus to buy a dime bag of marijuana for her. She had a car, she just didn't want to get caught buying drugs. As I was under 18, she explained, I wouldn't get in trouble if the police caught me. Besides, she was going to buy the drugs anyway and if she went to jail, she said, it would be my fault if my siblings went into a foster home. So at 16, I went downtown and had a prearranged meeting with a man that she knew. I gave him money that my mother had entrusted to me and brought home my mother's pot.

Sometimes my mom was very negligent and ignored us completely. I signed all my brother and sister's school paper work and wrote their absence notes. Mom just couldn't be bothered. Other times she smothered us by refusing to let us leave her side. We missed school, were told not to ignore her by doing homework and had to sit up all night with her. She was lonely and we kids had to be her confidants, pals and support system.

Because she wanted to be in love, my mom was constantly falling in and out of relationships. Men liked my mom. She never had any problem getting a date or having men fall in love with her. Unfortunately, she was addicted to the adrenaline rush of falling in love and couldn't sustain a relationship. So, we had men constantly in and out of our lives. My mom was married seven times!

It was a very unstable homelife.

My mom wanted to be a good person. She read her bible and, I sincerely believe, reached out in her own confused way to God. She expressed a strong love for Jesus. An untreated mental condition can make a person see faith and religion in a twisted manner. So many family members protected Mom from hitting bottom and assisted her in hiding her mental condition. At one point, a doctor put my mother on lithium but she stopped seeing him or taking the medication. I have no idea if she had received a diagnosis for her condition or not.

You almost have to be an abused child to understand the discordant nature of such a home life. Sometimes my mother was a nearly saintly, intensely compassionate, loving person while at other times she was cruel and selfish. I have always thought that the loving person that my mother could be was her true nature free of her mental illness.

A couple of years ago, my mother died, alone in a broken down single wide trailer. I was the last of her children who had talked to her and that had been six months previously. To protect my own kids, I had tried to set boundaries on their grandmother. Mom wasn't allowed to make them feel guilty, call them names or inform them that they weren't going to heaven as she had said to my older daughter. In other words, I had given my mother rules as to how she could interact with my kids. She chose not to comply with these very basic rules and so we had no contact for six months.

My mother had obsessively written out her prayers to God on little, yellow memo notes. These notes were stuck all along her walls. Many of them spoke of her deep faith that God would change her children's hearts and convince them that they were mistaken. One very sad note read that my mother knew, if her faith was just strong enough, her children would walk through her door and ask for her forgiveness.

I believe that my mother was sincere in both her faith in God and her love for her children. But her mind was so clouded by insanity that she was incapable of understanding her own contributions to her many problems.

Yet, if I meet my mother in heaven-I honestly believe that she is either there or in Purgatory now- she will not be burdened with insanity. She will be the sweet, loving, funny person that God meant for her to be all along. In heaven she won't suffer from the effects of mental illness. That is a great comfort to me.

Is Spanking MANDATED By The Bible?

2008-10-23T10:06:00.011-04:00

This is neither an anti- nor prospanking article. My oldest son was diagnosed as ADHD and yes, we did spank him. With each successive child, we have used spanking less and less as a form of discipline. All four of my kids are equally well behaved, despite the lack of spanking that two younger girls received. In fact, I've been humbled by the example of some nonspanking families who still manage to produce kind, well spoken, respectful children.

It would seem to be common sense-at least now that I am older-that because family temperaments and backgrounds differ that no single child rearing method will work for everyone. So imagine my surprise when I began to read on some Christian sites that the Bible mandates spanking. Even more startling are the claims that there is only one "Biblical" way to raise children.

Granted most of these sites are not Catholic but are fundamentalists. But people react to confidence, even if it is misplaced. I worry that the fundamentalist certainty that there is one way for Christians to raise children will spread and become "The Christian way to parent." Also, I am concerned that some of these parenting methods will produce either passive adults who will be ripe for a charismatic leader or that these kids, because of their upbringing, will grow up to hate Christianity and seek to undermine our faith.

Let me say, I am not a permissive parent and I don't have a strong opinion on spanking. My goal is only to prove that there isn't a Biblical rule that Christians have to spank. I am not arguing for or against corporal punishment.

There are about six verses in the Bible that deal with striking a child. These are mainly found in Proverbs. In most of these instances the Hebrew word for child used is na'ar. Na'ar is a masculine word for a male child of any age. Although there are a few instances of na'ar being used for a infant, in the Old Testament, na'ar is mainly used for older adolescent males.

Proverbs is a book of wise sayings. There is an entire section of Proverbs in which unrelated sayings follow one another. There is no way to tell if na'ar means a young boy, a male infant or an adult man still living at home. Certainly if you strike your college age son with a rod you run the risk of serving jail time for assault. So, I would not advise anyone to decide that corporal punishment can be used on their adult sons.

The word na'ar does not mean a female child. So, technically to follow these verses literally a parent can strike their male children but not their daughters. I do not read that certain extreme fundamentalist sites differentiate between male and female children.

The Old Testament has many laws that Christians no longer follow. For example, modern Orthodox Jews use salting or broiling to ensure that meat is free of blood. Some Orthodox Jews consider rare meat unkosher. Lev 19:19 seems to indicate that we should not have the different varieties of cattle that farmers have available today(no interbreeding of cattle), use two kinds of seed in our fields or wear a garment that is a mix to two different materials. Who decided that the book of Proverbs is more applicable to modern Christians then any other book in the Bible? I didn't get the notice that I could ignore Leviticus but had to uphold Proverbs. On what grounds has this been decided?

If we are going to use the Old Testament as a guide shouldn't we read it as the ancient Jewish people did? I came across an interesting article on The Jewish Virtual LIbrary. It states that:

The Oral Law is a legal commentary on the Torah, explaining how its commandments are to be carried out. Common sense suggests that some sort of oral tradition was always needed to accompany the Written Law, because the Torah alone, even with its 613 commandments, is an insufficient guide to Jewish life.

And....

Strangely enough, the Oral Law today is a written law, codified in the Mishna and Talmud. Orthodox Judaism believes that most of the oral traditions recorded in these books dates back to God's revelation to Moses on Mount Sinai. When God gave Moses the Torah, Orthodoxy teaches, He simultaneously provided him all the details found in the Oral Law

Apparently ancient Jews were not Bible Alone believers. They translated the meaning of scriptures through their oral traditions. In order to know what God meant by certain Old Testament scriptures shouldn't Christians study both the Mishna and Talmud or at least ask a Orthodox Rabbi for his opinion?

Please understand that I am not putting down any one who spanks. My concern is not with corporal punishment. I am worried at the fact that some fundamentalists sites are using scare tactics and a distorted view of the Bible to push parents into following their methods. It bothers me that some parents claim to be following the "Biblical " method for child raising, which means that anyone who chooses to parent differently is ignoring the Bible. I don't want parents to be guilted into following a method that might be bad for their families.

Purgatory...Yes, One More Time

2008-10-20T06:48:00.001-04:00

Jeaux has left a new comment on your post "Scripture Dealing With Purgatory.": Deb:While I respect your use of scripture in your argument, I ask that you go and read the latter part of Hebrews 9 again. Christ suffered once for all of our sins and man will face judgment following his death. It is Christ's blood that makes us holy, not any works that we do lest any man should boast.

It is quite possible that my writing lacked some clarity. So, I apologize for any confusion I have caused. Catholics agree with Jeaux. Christ did suffer once for all our sins and works alone do not save a person.

Purgatory is not a means to work one's way into heaven. It is not a giant second chance to get into heaven. My younger son once jokingly referred to Purgatory as a spiritual washing machine and, humor aside, that is a good description. Most Protestants also believe in Purgatory, although they don't realize that they do. Very few Protestants-if any- believe that they will enter heaven with even small faults like envy or anger.

When I became a Christian, I had the uncomfortable feeling that God was shining spotlights on certain aspects of myself that needed changing. Let me say, that it is painful to change. But our Lord wants us our best. He doesn't half cleanse us and then say, "Ah, not perfect, but good enough." He wants us to be worthy of paradise, to be completely clean. Even those little, minuscule sins are supposed to be cleansed off of us before we enter heaven.

Christians believe that in heaven, the blind will see and the lame walk. God will heal all matter of physical infirmities before we enter heaven. Yet, some Christians apparently don't understand that a being powerful enough to make a wheel chair bound man walk is also powerful enough to cleanse you of small sins, for example feeling that pang of envy when your neighbor gets a raise after you've lost your job. In heaven none of us will want to pout when we don't get our way, nag anyone, feel envy or jealousy, listen to gossip, have doubt or get annoyed at our parents.

Let me use an invented example. Imagine that there is a man who was severely abused as a child. He never knew anyone that he could trust. As a young man, he robbed a bank and killed the bank teller. In prison he meets someone who manages to explain Christ's love in a manner that the young man can understand. The prisoner makes a sincere commitment to Jesus and becomes a Christian.

Of course, he hasn't become a perfect person. God's grace will help the young man to have the power and the desire to change his life. But the process of sanctification can take time. In order to become the Christian man that he was meant to be, this man has a whole history of pain and turmoil that he must overcome. God does work miracles and it is possible for even the worst criminal to change their lives with the power of Christ.

But what if, at the very moment that he has committed his life to Christ, another prisoner attacks and kills him? Remember the bible says in Revelation 21:27 that nothing unclean will enter heaven. Does that mean that our young prisoner is doomed to spend eternity in Hell because he is a very new Christian? After all, he probably has some residual anger to work through. Will this man be in the presence of God still furious at his mom for abandoning him and a foster care giver for abusing him? Catholics and most Protestants will say that no, this man will not be angry in heaven. He will no longer resent anyone and he will not be burdened with the mental scars from past abuse.

Catholics call the entire change that occurs after death, before Christians have entered heaven, Purgatory. Protestants simply haven't named it but most Protestants that I talk to do believe that some sort of change does occur.

I don't know if this article clears up any misconception about Purgatory. If any of you are still confused, please don't hesitate to ask questions. If I don't know the answer to your questions then I will either research and find the answer or direct you onto better sites. I don't mind questions, so please don't be afraid to ask. I just hope that I can provide good answers that don't confuse anyone.

Photos From The Devil's Tramping Grounds.

2008-10-12T11:14:00.009-04:00

We decided to invite the kids' friends, Anthony-age 19 and Jarod-age 10, on our field trip. We are very blessed to have fellow homeschoolers who live next door to us. My younger kids enjoy the trips more when their friend, Jarod, tags along. My oldest son, Josh, is in college and would not normally take trips with us, if it wasn't for his friend, Anthony. Before we left, I took a group photo of the six kids together.

Because I am a masochist, I let the kids each get their choice as to what CD's that would play. They took turns picking the music. So, we had a variety of heavy metal, religious and country music blaring from our minivan. My ears are still ringing.

Surprisingly, a minivan with eight people in it is very loud. Anthony and Joshua entertained us by clowning around, although I think Josh. was a little perturbed when his friend jokingly threatened to kiss him.

Unlike other historical sites, there are no road signs or markers for The Devil's Tramping Grounds. A portion of the trip went through the proverbial "boonies". There was really nothing on either side of the road except forest. It made pretty scenery, so I snapped a photo.

On a funny note-at least to everyone else in the car- my son, Chris. complained that he really had to go to the bathroom. So we pulled over and he ran into the woods. We females all needed to use the bathroom also but we decided to wait. Poor Chris, just a mile further down the road we found a gas station. LOL

The attendant at the BP very kindly directed us to the road that the tramping ground is on. Just past a tire store is a road fittingly called The Devil Tramping Ground Road.

As I wrote previously, there is no sign announcing that you have found the actual Devil's Tramping Ground. There is just two gravel pullouts, located on the side of the road. The second pullout is the correct one.

We knew that we were in the correct spot because teenagers had painted several upside down crosses and pentagrams into the surrounding pines. I am a big nature lover and really wish someone had just posted a sign instead.

The area is no longer forty feet and isn't even really circular. My husband said that it doesn't look that drastically different then other bare places that he's come across while camping in the woods.

Judging from the trash left in ring, the devil likes Krispy Kreme doughnuts, lots of beer and smokes heavily. I overheard Josh comment to Anthony, "Man, since God threw Satan out of heaven, the devil has really went to hell." What can I say, the boy has his father's sense of humor.

We had a very nice picnic in the middle of the not quite circle. Actually, I found the area very peaceful, but I like being in the middle of the woods. By the way, we carried our trash back to the car with us and didn't leave any litter behind.

I will try to post direction to the Devil's Tramping Grounds later.

On Silliness And Pearl

2008-10-05T15:32:00.016-04:00

My husband and I have always been a bit goofy with our kids. We both are just naturally silly people. One of our sons once described us as a ‘jokative family.” Bad English aside, I believe that he was correct. We are sometimes a pretty goofy family. I used to get my sons to eat noodles by helping them pretend the pasta was really worms. Yes, very sick but my boys loved the whole grossness of pretending to eat something wiggly.

Imagine my surprise when-while looking for herbal information-I came across these words:

A silly boy is disgusting and repulsive, because he is the antithesis of all that is attractive in a male. There is no age at which silliness is normal. It is in all circumstances inappropriate. How many times have you heard people say it, “Don’t be silly”? All of my readers could mimic the tone at which it is always uttered—a hurried, dismissive, embarrassment, carrying a presumption that it is out of place and most unbecoming.

At first I thought that I had wandered into one of those brilliant satires like The Onion. No.....Michael Pearl is serious.

Of course, parents should teach their children that there are times to be funny and moments to be serious. Learning how to behave in various sitiuation is part of growing up. I am not certain why being occasionally goofy is the "antithesis of all that is attractive in a male." Many of the men that I admire most, including my wonderful husband, can be real goofballs sometimes.

I was in grade school in the fifties and started high school in 1959. I don’t remember any really silly boys, not like today’s crowd of them.

Although No Greater Joy is located in Tennessee, I can't help but wonder if Michael Pearl isn't a transplant. Most southerners that I know enjoy a good belly laugh. The older people, especially those who have undergone hardships, are sometimes the funniest. Humor in the face of tribulation seems to be a southern trait.

One of the toughest women that I have ever known was my Grandmother. We called her Nanny. She had survived the depression, a very abusive, alcoholic husband, poverty and my mother’s mental disorder. Yet through it all she maintained a sense of humor that helped her cope with her life. Her ability to be silly and funny made her strong. It helped her to view life, not as a victim, but as a survivor.

Once, after my three year old son, Joshua, had asked her to draw a dog, Nan decided to tease her younger sister, Avo. Drawing an ugly picture of a horrible creature she labeled it with her sister’s name. She instructed Joshua to give it to his great aunt but to make certain that she knew it was from Annie (my grandmother). Poor 70 year old, Avo, was innocently crocheting on the couch when her little nephew brought her the crude drawing. Looking across the room at my grandmother, she yelled, “Annie, what is wrong with you?” Both women burst into loud laughter. My great aunt wasn’t offended at her big sister.

Silliness can only exist in a responsibility vacuum. A man (or boy) who is given responsibilities and is committed to performing his duty will never be silly. Where there is self-respect, there will be sobriety and dignity.

My husband actually got angry at this statement. One of the duties of my husband and his coworkers is the protection of certain weapons systems and personal, although their main job is meterology. Yet,according to my husband, the men and women that he works with can get pretty silly at times. It is because these soldiers have a lot of responsibility that they have a need to blow off steam by joking around.

Daddy and his friends will respond to foolishness like they would a cat licking its XXX.

Could someone explain what the above statement means? Is Michael Pearl being silly? I didn't know that most men had a problem with cats cleaning their privates beyond amazment.(think Puss in Boots on Shrek) I have to admit, when our male siamese would throw his leg up, bend his head over and begin to purr, I would leave the room so he could have privacy. I always felt that I was watching cat porn when our he cleaned himself. Yuck. But what any of that has to do with little boys being silly and the reaction of their fathers is beyond me.

In fact there is a lot in the article that doesn't connect to the main subject of the article-boys silliness. Most of us worry about the effect of Hollywood on our children. Although we still have tv, we no longer have cable in our house. Until we can get cable channels a la cart, and don't have to pay for the junk channels, my hubby and I have decided to have it disconnected. Michael Pearl though connects the junk on tv with, what he seems to consider, a new problem of boys being silly.

It is not the kids sitting zombie like in front of the television who are creative and energetic enough to figure out exactly which joke will gross out their siblings. Its the kids digging in the dirt, enteracting with their friends and being outdoors who come up with new ways to make one another laugh.

I would also like to point out that Pearl, by his own admission, is a child of the fifties and was a young man in the sixties. Considering that his generation brought us hippies and public unrest, maybe we could have avoided all that if young kids during the 1950's had been allowed to make a few fart jokes. LOL (Sorry, I am being silly LOL)

I began by saying that silly boys are public proof of a father’s neglect and of a mother’s indulgence. I have addressed the father’s responsibility. Now, please sit down, mothers. When a son is over-indulged by his mother, and criticized by his sisters, he will be silly

This didn't offend me so much as amuse me. I think that I am a bit more strict then my hubby and Russ is very involved with our children. He's always been a hands on dad. Plus my daughters adore their big brothers.

I am guessing also that Pearl wouldn't approve of our watching The Holy Grail with our kids. Mmmmm.....Our family-even little Sarah-quotes the movie. On second thought lets NOT go to Camelot,(Russ and Deb's house) tis a silly place.-King Arthur

Admittedly, Pearl does give good advice about parents being involved with their kids, giving them chores, helping them learn skills that appeal to them, teaching them to be independent etc...But the fact that he mixes sound counsel and common sense with some very bad parenting advice, fear mongering and psychobable as to why children, boys, are silly, actually makes the article worse.

Here is a link to the article-in case you missed my first link-http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/articles/child-training/boys/article-display/archive/2008/june/05/silly-boys/

Check it out for yourselves.

Why I Don't Give Parenting Advice On This Blog

2008-09-28T22:51:00.001-04:00

Even though it doesn't appear that God will bless our family with another baby, I like to read blogs on child rearing. Often these blogs are geared toward mother's of younger children, so they don't really apply to me. But I do find the various opinions interesting. I am always open to learning new and better ways to parent.

Considering that I have four kids, and a happy marriage you might think that I would be bustling with advice for younger women. I certainly get compliments on my children's behavior and my sons often seek out my advice on their own. God has blessed me.

But the truth is, I still have no idea what I am doing. LOL Some blogs give very definite advice on how children should be raised. And as I scroll through the comments, I am struck by how many mothers really want their children to be well behaved. But in all honesty, there isn't one single, perfect way to parent that works for all situations.

Being a military wife has exposed me to many different families and child rearing methods. I've known good kids to come from both moderately permissive households and slightly strict homes. The one thing all these families had in common were that they were consistent and the parents were involved with their kids.

I can say that those families who were at extremes in discipline, either overly permissive or very, very strict, had children who were difficult to be around. I've noticed that the kids who had no boundaries or discipline were often jerks in the parents presence, while the children who had very authoritarian parents were bad when they thought adults weren't observing them.

Most people who read this blog probably know that I stay home and teach my children. You might think that I would advocate all women doing the same. But that assumption would be incorrect. My sister and her husband love each other very dearly, their children are a joy to be around and they are strong Christians. But its my little sister who works and her hubby who is the home maker. She has chosen a completely different path then me but had very similar results to mine.

If you are wondering what inspired this post, I've been on several blogs which give very precise methods of being a Christian mother or wife. First let me say, I have never left a comment on these particular blogs, so don't get alarmed if I have visited your site.LOL Second, as is obvious by this post, I don't agree that there is one, single way of mothering children.

God has blessed me by putting such a variety of Christian men and women in my path who were wonderful but different then me, that I can't declare that my way of being a wife and mother is the only, best way.

Man Arrested In Murder Of Pregnant Soldier

2008-07-30T06:44:00.006-04:00

My local paper, The Fayetteveille Observer, reported that a man has been arrested in the Megan Lynn Touma murder. The suspect is Sgt. Edgar Patino Lopez who was training at Ft. Bragg in psychological operations tactics at the Special Operations Command school. Touma discovered that Patino was married shortly after she realized that she was carrying his child.

I don't think that any event could compensate the Touma family for the death of two of their members, Megan and her unborn child. But perhaps, knowing that the police might possibly have their loved one's killer will give them some small comfort.

We should remember the Touma family in our prayers so that they continue to have strength to endure this tragedy.

Scripture Dealing With Purgatory.

2008-07-14T19:22:00.006-04:00

On Lily Maiden’s blog a young poster named Bethany asked for the scriptural references for purgatory. I promised her that I would post them. If you have other questions about Purgatory please check out the two articles that I link to at the top of my blog. Chances are that I covered your question already.

I am asking any readers of my blog to please get out your bible and double check what I am writing. Never take another person’s word for what the bible says but instead, read the verses in context. That is a good habit to get into.

Let’s start with Matthew 23:26 Come to terms with your opponent or you will be handed over to the judge and thrown into prison. You will not get out until you have paid the last penny. Most people will quickly understand that the judge in this parable is actually God. Some will mistakenly assume that prison he is referencing is Hell. But how can that be when no one gets out of Hell? The verse says that you will not get out of jail UNTIL you have paid the last penny. That indicates that at sometime the person will have the ability to get out of jail. How is that possible if the above verse is speaking of Hell.

In Luke 12:41-48 Jesus describes the actions and rewards of the good, bad and ignorant servants when the master is away. The good servant will be rewarded, while the bad servant will be beaten and assigned a place with the unfaithful (hell) Yet, Jesus qualified this story by discussing the plight of the ignorant servant. 48 And the servant who was ignorant of his master’s will but acted in a way deserving of a severe beating shall be beaten only lightly. The servant obviously is not in Heaven because there will be nothing akin to a beating in Paradise neither can it be Hell we will no longer be with the Master(Notice that the bad servant was sent away)

Corinthians 3:10-15 compares Christ to a building foundation Verses 11-114 For no one can lay foundation other than the one that is there, namely, Jesus Christ(faith in Jesus)If anyone builds on this foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay or straw the work of each will come to light, for the Day will disclose it. It will be revealed with fire and the fire will test the quality of each one’s work. If the work stands that someone builds upon the foundation the person will receive a wage. These verses speak about the fact that we need to have our life built upon Jesus in order to enter heaven. The next verse states that But if someone’s work is burned up, that one will suffer loss; the person will be saved, but only as though fire. The person indicated in the verse is still saved but will need to go through a purification process to enter heaven. Catholics call this purification process Purgatory.

Also in Corinthians 15: 29 Paul speaks about a Christian practice during his time period in which the individual was baptized for the dead. Paul does not state whether he approves or disapproves of this now defunct practice. He is using it as an example to prove the resurrection of the dead. But it would seem a waste of effort for early Christians to be baptized for either those who were in Heaven or Hell. No one goes from Hell to Heaven or back.

Peter affirms in 1 Peter 3:18-19 that Christ did indeed die for our sins but that after his death and before his physical resurrection he preached to those souls in prison. It would make little sense for Jesus to preach to those in Hell who can not be saved by him. Neither would it seem appropriate for Peter to refer to those in Heaven as being in ‘prison’ The only logical explanation is that Jesus spoke to souls who were in a third realm that was neither Heaven or Hell.

It is very possible that I missed some verses so please visit Scripture Catholic which is a wonderful resource that I visit frequently.

A Letter About My Father's Death.

2008-06-25T11:18:00.003-04:00

My father, Robert E Pugh, died in Vietnam over forty years ago. Today I was rummaging in my closet and found this letter to my mother. It is dated 30 May 1967 and is from LTC Robert L. Moore.

I am trying to decide how to display such items from my mother's that deal with my father's death. I don't want this items to get lost in my closet.

I thought some of you might find the letter interesting. In case you are curious, my dad was sent to Vietnam when my mom was seven months pregnant and she got news that he died when I was five weeks old.

Dear Mrs. Push,

I was recently assigned as the Commanding Officer of the 87th Engineer Battalion(construction); shortly after I arrived, I was made cognizant of the circumstances surrounding the death of your late, beloved husband. It also became readily apparent ot me that he was held in very high esteem by many of his comrades who remain with us and who knew not only of his contributions to our efforts against the enemy but also of his personal contributions to the Battalion and his associates.

At the time, it was suggested to me that it would be both fitting and appropriate to dedicate a facility, constructed by this Battalion, to the memory of your husband. I wholehearteldly concurred and there was a consensus of opinion that the most meaningful structure that could be memorialized would be the South Beach Amphitheater which is the principal entertainment facility on Cam Ranh Peninsula. This particular structure erected in order to better cope with the Viet Cong threat; rather, it symbolizes the universal quest for understanding and a communion of ideals. The Amphitheater has already payed host to such notables and dignitaries as Bob Hope and Cardinal Spellman.

This week, the Battalion received approval from General Westmoreland's Headquarters to dedicate the South Beach Ampitheather to the memory of your husband, and to redesignate the facility as the "Robert E. Push Memorial Amphitheater." In this regard, I would like to request your concurrence as to the memorization and I would like to note my regret that we are unable to request your presence at the formal dedication ceremonies tentatively scheduled for 2 July, 1967. The distance involved and the military situation preclude any possibility of requesting your presence.

There are two requests that I would like to make of you; first, if at all possible, I would appreciate a very brief resume of your late husband's early life in order that pertinent portions my be extracted for inclusions in the General Order which officially memorializes the Ampitheater. In addition, I would appreciate your informing any relatives that you may deem appropriate of the pending memorization and, in this regard, I will attempt to forward you any pictures and other material that maybe available and which are of such a nature as may prove to have a sentimental value for you.

My best regard to you and yours and with a sincere hope that I shall hear from you in the near future.

Respectfully Yours,

Robert L. Moore
LTC, CE
Commanding

Why Do Catholics Put Ashes On Their Forehead.

2008-02-05T14:17:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow we celebrate Ash Wednesday and no doubt your protestant friends are going to ask why you have a smudged cross on your forehead. Before I converted, my Catholic friends would shrug off this question with the response,” It’s just something that we do.” What an appalling answer that completely neglects the opportunity to teach someone about our Catholic faith.

So why do Catholics put ashes on their forehead?

Anyone who has read the Old Testament will notice that the ancient Hebrew culture expressed grief differently then we do today. Mourning or extreme distress was expressed by throwing ashes over one self. There are many Catholic practices that have roots in ancient Judaism.

Ash Wednesday is the first day of Lent, a time when Catholic ponder the sacrifice of Christ’s death for us. It is a period of solemn contemplation. The ashes on our forehead are a sign of our mourning for our savior’s impending death. There are some Protestants who accuse Catholic of putting to much emphasis on Christ’s death. But please understand, we celebrate our savior’s triumphant resurrection not only on Easter Sunday, but every single Sunday of the year!

The ashes also represent our own human mortality. All of us, will die and be judged. This is a sobering thought. In our contemporary, feel good society we don’t want to be reminded that our existence is not always care free and that none of us are immune to the passage of time.

What a humbling reflection on our life. Some people might even say that the reminder we are mortal is depressing. But we know that ultimately, if we persevere in Christ, that we will have victory.

Repetitive Prayers

2008-01-06T10:00:00.001-05:00

I have many NonCatholic Christian friends, so I am used to answering questions about my faith. As long as they are polite, I welcome questions. It gives me an opportunity to discuss a subject dear to me, The Church, and helps me dispel some of the myths that are so prevalent about Catholicism.

One question that pops up occasionally is why Catholics have some prayers such as the rosary when Matthew 6:7 states"And when you are praying, do not use meaningless repetition as the Gentiles do, for they suppose that they will be heard for their many words." (Some bibles use the phrase, vain repetitions)

Remember Jesus did not say, don't pray using meaningless repetitions like the Jewish people do. He specified "As the Gentiles do." Let's look at Jewish prayer. Jewish people pray three times a day with a set series of prayers. On the Sabbath the Jewish wife blesses the candles with a words that her ancestors have used. Her husband blesses the bread, wine and children all with non-spontaneous, prewritten words.

Yet Jesus did not condemn these types of prayers. Jesus certainly wasn't shy about challenging the traditions of his fellow Jewish people when he found them So, he apparently was not alarmed about using prayer that had past down through previous generations.

We also know that the angels use repetitive prayer. In Rev. 4:8 the angels repeat, "Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty." God is also pleased at the tax collector's repeated prayer in Luke 18:13 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.' Finally we are told that Jesus himself used a repetitive prayer in The Garden of Gethsemane. Three times he repeats in agony, "O my Father, if this cup may not pass away from me, except I drink it, thy will be done. "

Many Protestants, unknowingly, use repetitive prayers. What is a hymn but a method of singing your prayers to God? Most songs have a chorus that repeats. Does this mean that Protestants should give up beautiful songs of praise? I certainly hope not.

So, if it wasn't set prayers or words that repeat that Jesus was prohibiting what exactly did he mean? The Greek word that is translated as 'vain, repetitions' can also mean babbling. Because our savior was in a Roman dominated world, he would have been aware of the practice of using an oracle to predict the future. The Greek priest would translate the oracle's babbling for her audience.

The word vain also has to be taken into consideration. Imagine this:

A toddler has fallen from his seat and been rushed to the hospital. Tortured by agony and guilt all his young mother can pray over and over is the words, "Please God help my son." Her whole soul is poured into this plea.

While in the hospital, the family is visited by a church member who is very aware that others are listening to his prayers. He prays, not to glorify God, but to bring honor to himself. In fact, he isn't thinking of the young couple and their toddler at all, but how beautiful his own words must sound to those listening to him.(Come on, we've all known hypocritical people).

Which person, the mother or the visitor, do you think that God is pleased with and which one has prayed a vain prayer?

Does Purgatory Negate Christ's Sacrifice?

2008-01-04T19:16:00.002-05:00

One common objection to Purgatory is that it somehow makes Christ's sacrifice on the cross unnecessary. I've never understood this. None of us could ever merit heaven without Christ. This is something that both Catholics and Protestants agree on.

As I have written before I like analogies. They help me to see complicated concepts more clearly.

Imagine that your child accidentally breaks your elderly neighbor's window. Your child is upset because he/she knows that he will have to have to admit his mistake to the neighbor. Yet being a responsible parent, you march your child nest door. The sweet elderly lady hugs your child and assures him that she completely forgives him. She isn't mad at all. But of course there is the detail of the broken window. Windows are expensive to replace. You promise to pay the charges but your child will have to work off the cost.

Is your child any less forgiven because he has to clean up his mess? Do you tell the elderly woman that her forgiveness doesn't count because your son has to do some work?

I don't want to get to heaven as I am, a person full of faults and sin. I welcome the chance to be made clean. How merciful and wonderful is our God.

2007-12-12T12:50:00.000-05:00

During Advent, I have promised myself to spend less time blogging and on the internet. But I thought that I would post the link to an interesting blog article. I know that during the Christmas season there are some people concerned about the 'pagan' origins of Christmas. For those of you forced to debate this issue, I thought that I would give you some ammunition.

Sure enough, this time of year a variety of Messianics, Jehovah's Witnesses, non-denominational types, and others, are out to prove that Christmas is pagan and those who celebrate it are engaged in sinful activity. I have seen the paltalk rooms and the websites, filled with hefty doses of discredited 19th century historical treatises. I am not remotely convinced by these arguments, because I do not accept the basic logic that leads one to conclude Christian holidays are pagan.

The rest of this article can be found here:http://blog.ancient-future.net/2007/12/christmas-is-pagan-hardly-origins-of.html The comments that follow the author's article are interesting also.

Advent-What The Heck Is That?

2007-11-25T20:54:00.001-05:00

Before I became Catholic I am uncertain if I had even heard of Advent. Yes, I knew of the other winter celebrations such as Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and Ramadan and of course, I celebrated Christmas. I was even aware that some pagans consider the Winter Solstice a holiday. But Advent? I suppose that I could blame my ignorance on being brought up in North Carolina which is predominately Protestant, mainly Baptist. What ever my reason, I had no idea when I became Catholic what Advent was.

I am going to guess that I wasn't the only Non-Catholic who had never heard of Advent.

So, what is Advent?Advent is the beginning of the Church year. It is a period of four weeks in which Catholics contemplate the coming of our Saviour's birth. Our secular society has turned Christmas into a gross commercialized spectacle. But Advent helps focus us back onto the true meaning of December 25th, the coming of the light into the world.

For me, this period of reflection is helpful and comforting.

I try to put off Christmas decorations and baking until the first week of Advent. This helps me to tie the religious meaning into the holiday.

Advent starts this Sunday and I will try and post something each week about how my family ties this into our everyday life. Remember though, I am a convert, so some of this is still new to me. LOL

Why Do Catholics Keep Jesus On The Cross?

2007-10-22T12:54:00.001-04:00

Twice, I've had close friends inform me that Catholics do not believe that Jesus rose again from the dead. Despite my assurances that we do indeed believe that Jesus Christ rose from the dead, my friends were certain that I was wrong. Where they got such incorrect information I do not know.

So for the record, yes, Catholics believe Jesus rose from the dead. I promise you, I wouldn't get up early on Sunday morning to attend mass if I didn't believe that Jesus Christ rose from the dead! I'm far to lazy to attend a weekly memorial for a nice human(which is all Jesus would be if he hadn't risen from the dead)

More often I get asked by non Catholic Christians, "Why do you, Catholics, keep Jesus up on the cross?" The perception, among some Protestants is that we Catholics spend too much time thinking about Jesus' death and not enough time contemplating his resurrection. If this is true then Catholics are in good company.

In 1st Corinthians, chapter 1, verse 23. Paul says, "...but we preach Christ crucified..." But Jesus is risen, what is Paul speaking about? Doesn't he know that we shouldn't be concentrating on Jesus's death? Again in Cor 2:2 Paul writes, "For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified."

Some have expressed distaste at the thought of depicting Jesus at his most vulnerable. Guess what? This should make you uncomfortable. Every lash that he took, every blow that drove the nail into his hands was caused by you and me. Our sins hung Jesus on that cross. The crucifix is the ultimate expression of the lengths that a loving God will go to reach us. For me, gazing at a crucifix is a humbling experience.

There are some Protestants who take offense at the crucifix because they view it as idolatry. In order for a crucifix to be an idol then Catholics would have to honestly believe that Jesus Was the crucifix. We don't. The crucifix is merely a representation of his death and suffering. Catholics don't view the crucifix as Jesus himself. Ironically those who get upset over the crucifix being an idol don't worry about carrying pictures of their loved ones. Photos are representations just like the crucifix. If the crucifix bothers you then to be honest you should empty your wallet and albums of all photos.

Just for the record, I take no offense at the bare cross itself. I understand that it as a symbol of Christian faith and I own a couple of bare crosses myself. I personally, though, think that the bare cross is a very empty symbol for Christ's resurrection. After all, Jesus came down dead from the cross. So, if one got nit picky, then the empty cross would actually symbolize defeat. Jesus rose from the tomb, not the cross. In order to represent his victory over death(which is what some Protestants claim the empty cross does) one would have to wear a little copy of the tomb or a tiny rock.

All Christians, both non Catholic and Catholic, exist in a world that is not always friendly to our faith. Instead of tearing apart one another's symbols maybe we should just be happy to meet a fellow believer.

Missing Baby-Sad Outcome

2007-10-22T07:22:00.000-04:00

http://www.wral.com/news/local/story/1951731/

According to the local news the mother confessed to storing her deceased infant in the attic of her house. What a horrible outcome, especially when you consider that she reported the baby missing the day that the child's father returned from the Middle East!

The 25-year old mother finally confessed that she found her baby dead one morning and became frightened. Neighbors reported smelling something rancid for several weeks but couldn't find the source.

This is a small community so gossip does get around. My son works with some people who live close to the deceased infant's house. They told him(again this is second hand) that the grandmother had been sick several weeks and had stopped visiting the house. Apparently up to that point the grandmother had been assisting in the care of the children. According to my son's co employees, the grandmother took and passed a lie detector test, so it appears that only the mother carried out this crime.

What a sad outcome for this little baby, our community and everyone who loved this child.

The Eucharist

2007-10-20T15:15:00.001-04:00

WARNING: UNASHAMEDLY CATHOLIC VIEW OF SCRIPTURES .

Have you ever read either the bible or a book written by a Christian author and had one of those ah-ha moments? Well, this certainly happened to me this afternoon. In fact, I sat straight up in the bed that I was reclining with my youngest daughter and hubby as they were watching football and shouted, "Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness!" Now they are both pretty used to me being a bit crazy but this struck even them as strange. My husband asked what was wrong. I informed him that nothing was wrong, but a bible verse had just been made clear to me.

I was reading David Currie's book, Born Again, Born Fundamentalist. David Curie, like me, is a convert from Protestantism. Unlike me, he is much better educated, having received a degree from Trinity International University and studied in the Masters of Divinity Program at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School.

From the very beginning of the book he is respectful of Protestants, a point that wins him accolades from me. Curie writes of his fundamentalist parents: I had no doubts that my parents were following the truth of God in the best way they knew. They taught me that commitment to the truth is always worth the effort, regardless of the sacrifice. Later he writes about the Theologians that were often invited to eat dinner at his childhood home: I found these men to be Christians of the highest character, intense and earnest in the commitment to God. Curie is not embittered by his fundamentalist background or education.

So what had he written that gave me such a jolt? Well, it started with his quoting John 6:26-59 To save room in this post, I will put the exact biblical quote in the next post but you can certainly look it up yourselves. Remember as you read that many of Jesus' students(Not the original 12 disciples) left him over this teaching.

This is what Curie writes about the passage:Let's review the passage. First, Jesus defines what we must do for God: we must believe in Jesus. The Jews then ask for a sign from Jesus to prove he is worthy of belief. Jesus responds by claiming that he is 'the bread of life'. This is an analogy just like "I am the door' or "I am the vine." It could be understood in a multitude of ways, unless Jesus goes on to explain his analogy. He does exactly that: "This bread is my flesh, which I give for the life of the world." Jesus says the bread of life is his flesh. Lest we not understand whether he means flesh in the real, physical, touchable way, he tells us next that it is the same flesh that will be given up on the Cross! He goes on to say that this flesh must be eaten by his followers.This analogy has been clearly explained. There is no doubt about its meaning.If the flesh that we eat for eternal life is meant in only a 'figurative way' or 'spiritually speaking' then so is the flesh of the crucifixion! Jesus equates the two. Either they are both literal, or they are both figurative.

I'll put the biblical passage up in a separate post, Monday. I have to get ready to go to Mass tonight and tomorrow is Sunday. But here is the one verse that you should pay special attention to:John 6:51 I am the living bread that came down from heaven; whoever eats this bread will live forever; and the bread that I will give is my flesh for the life of the world.

My own view is that in order to make this whole passage figurative, one must ignore the verse in red, in which case you are doubting that Jesus is predicting his death!

Don't Catholics Worship Statues?

2007-10-10T22:50:00.001-04:00

While cleaning out my shed, I found a tattered, black and white photo of my father. I was ecstatic. You see I have never met my father, although from what I have been told he was a wonderful man. Five weeks after giving birth to me, my 21 year-old mother received notice that my father had been killed in action. He had been sent to Vietnam when my mom was seven months pregnant, so he never got a chance to hold me or even get to know me.

Of course I revere this photo. The image of my young father, dressed in his uniform, and smiling broadly at the camera is something that I will always treasure. By looking at the photo I have a means to both honor and remember him. Am I somehow worshipping my father’s photo by giving it a prominent place on my mantle piece? Of course not. I know that it is just a picture, no matter how treasured, and that my real father is no longer alive.

The same concept is true of Catholic artwork. No one thinks that a bit of plaster is the real Virgin Mary. Paintings, statues and religious artwork have no actual power.

Some will argue that there should be no religious artwork at all. They will point to Exodus 20:4 that states you shall not carve idols for yourselves in the shape of anything in the sky above or on the earth below or in the waters beneath the earth. Let’s pretend for a moment that this verse wasn’t completely taken out of context. Read literally it would mean that we can use no visual images at all, not artwork, not movies (which are visual representations of living things), not even photographs. Remember the verse itself makes no exception for non religious artwork.

God, himself, commanded the Israelites to make statues to adorn his temple. Exodus 25:18-20 Make two cherubim of beaten gold for the ends of the propitiatory, fastening them sot that one cherub springs direct from each end. The cherubim shall have their wings spread out above, covering the propitiatory with them; they shall be turned toward each other, but with their faces looking toward the propitiatory. Considering that these statues were connected to the ark, it is hard not to call them religious in nature.

The verse though is actually taken out of context. The next verse reads Exodus 20:4 You shall not bow down before them (idols) or worship them. For I, the Lord, am a jealous God…. This makes defending the Catholic practice very easy. We do not worship idols or statues. You can not accidentally worship something, worship has to be purposeful or else what is the point?

I will occasionally have conversations with some non-Catholic’s who will point out that Catholics do certainly kneel in front of statues. Kneeling by itself is not an act of worship. This can be proven by many examples. Men are certainly not worshipping their intended bride when they kneel while proposing. We are not worshipping the sides of our beds when we pray before we retire. For many years society knelt in honor of royalty. This was not a form of worship but of respect. Today, bowing is common in Asia, yet no one believes that Asians are worshipping their friends and family.

Even in the bible we find people bowing down without intent to worship. Some examples are Genesis 19: 1-Lot bows his face down to the ground before the two angels and he is not corrected by them. Genesis 18:2 Abraham also bows to the ground in front of angelic guests. Again this is not worship but a way to exhibit hospitability and respect due to guests. In II Samuel 9: 8 we are old that Jonathon’s son bows to David. Just from studying the bible alone, we can deduce that bowing or kneeling is not, by itself, an act of worship.

Just as I can look at the photo of my father and remember someone that I never knew, Catholics can contemplate religious artwork and be reminded of the holy men and women who have passed on into heaven and whose lives remain an example for us all.

Sacramentals-Batteries For The Soul

2007-10-09T14:05:00.001-04:00

Romans 1:20 Ever since the creation of the world, his invisible attributes of eternal power and divinity have been able to be understood and perceived in what he has made. As a result, they have no excuse

There are many people who are moved emotionally and spiritually by nature. Mountain vistas have often moved me to contemplate the divine. Perhaps it is the immensity of ranges such as the Rockies or the softer, rounder curves of the smaller Appalachians, but I find it difficult to deny the existence of God when I am looking at such scenes.

Does the fact that I feel God’s presence when I am observing nature mean that nature itself is somehow divine? No. It merely means that, for me, the beauty of nature assists me in being open to the God’s ever present Grace. Nature doesn’t produce that Grace, God does.

God loves us intensely. He wants to reach our hearts. But we sometimes underestimate how well he understands human natures. He didn’t create one dimensional creatures but sensual beings who depend on all five senses to process the world around us.

Have you ever wondered why Jesus used mud and spit in John 9:6 to heal a blind man? Was it because mud and spit somehow have magical properties? No, of course not. The power to heal came from Jesus, himself, not the mud and not even his spittle, but God is not above using material from our world to connect with us.

Being human, there are moments when we feel distant from God. Perhaps we have too many bills or are worried about our marriage. In reality, God is still as close as always because we have his ever present grace with us. The problem is with us, not God. Some people, during these moments, put on religious music to recharge their soul, to reconnect with God. Sacred music, of course, does not produce grace but it can put us in a more receptive frame of mind.

Sacramental (Not sacraments) are items such as holy water and blessed candles, and rites such as exorcism and actions such as genuflection that moves us to cooperate with and receive God’s grace. In other words, they help recharge us and make us mentally more receptive to receiving God’s grace.

The Catechism states: 1677 Sacramentals are sacred signs instituted by the Church. They prepare men to receive the fruit of the sacraments and sanctify different circumstances of life.
1678 Among the sacramentals blessings occupy an important place. They include both praise of God for his works and gifts, and the Church's intercession for men that they may be able to use God's gifts according to the spirit of the Gospel.
1679 In addition to the liturgy, Christian life is nourished by various forms of popular piety, rooted in the different cultures. While carefully clarifying them in the light of faith, the Church fosters the forms of popular piety that express an evangelical instinct and a human wisdom and that enrich Christian life.

Due to the fact that I get many questions concerning the use and reasons behind Catholic Sacramentals I have decided that in further posts I will explain individual sacramentals, such as holy water.

My goal is not to convert anyone, simply to edify. I realize that some Catholic acts such as genuflecting or lighting candles can seem strange or even ritualistic but hopefully future posts will at least enlighten my non Catholic friends as to why we Catholics do these things.

By the way, if you like the title of this blog, thank my youngest son, Christopher. After reading this article for me, he came up with the title.

Confession. Not Such a Bad Thing After All.

2007-09-22T08:15:00.000-04:00

I won't post for a few days, but I thought I'd add this one last article from Telegraph.co.uk. Apparently, some are now discovering that confession is a not a bad thing after all.

Americans are flocking to confess their sins as Protestant churches have joined their Catholic counterparts in modernising the sacrament of penance.
Thousands of people are attending confession at weekends and just as many are posting their repentance on videos that are played back to congregations or shared on websites such as YouTube.
New technology is fuelling the boom, but so is clever marketing by Churches that are portraying confession as a form of self-improvement — always popular with Americans — rather than some sort of punishment.

Here is the link to the whole article.http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/09/22/wconfess122.xml

Opie's Candy Store

2007-09-21T14:30:00.000-04:00

Here are my very happy daughters inside of Opie's Candy Shop in Mt Airy, NC. It is a small shop but very full of different jars of candy. For $4.99 you can purchase a pound of candy. But the fun part is that you can mix and match which type of candy that you choose!

The top photo is my whole brood, Dad and kids deciding which candy to choose. We split into two groups, we girls got our own bag to share, while the boys got another bag.

My sons complained that the girls seemed to get more in their bag but that is because my daughters took more time in deciding what candy they chose.

If you live in NC or are just passing through, a trip to Mt. Airy is well worth the stop.

Here is a link to the store's website.http://opiescandystore.com/index.php

Some More Images From Our Trip to Mt. Airy, NC

2007-09-21T14:11:00.000-04:00

This is a Quaker Church that we thought was interesting.

I love old cars.

One of the Nicest Towns

2007-09-21T13:45:00.000-04:00

Mt. Airy, NC. must be one of the sweetest, little towns that has ever existed. As we were walking around the town we noticed this cooler and bowl in front of someone's walkway. Not only is the person giving out free water but they included a plastic bowl for those people walking their dogs.

Floyd's Barber Shop

2007-09-21T13:39:00.000-04:00

For all you Mayberry fans, there is a real, working Barber Shop named, Floyd's, located in Mt. Airy. When I passed a barber was cutting someone's hair.

Troubling Photos of SS Officers

2007-09-21T08:12:00.001-04:00

http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0%2C7340%2CL-3451626%2C00.html

Scouring the net, I found this article. The US Holocaust memorial Museum is unveiling a photo album of SS officers that were taken at Auschwitz. You can view the complete album on line.

The photos were troubling, not because they depict the horrors of the gas chambers-they don't- but because there is no indication that the subjects are at all disturbed by the inhuman acts that they commit off camera.

There are shots of SS officers calmly lighting trees, clowning around as they go on a field trip and laughing with their female counterparts. Remember all this is done by men who were routinely gassing innocent men, women and children.

The very normalcy depicted in these shots is grotesquely surreal. How can any human engaging in knowing genocide be able to carry on an apparent normal life without having some qualms over their actions. And yet, apparently these people were able to do so.

Mt Airy

2007-09-18T19:53:00.000-04:00

My hubby and I like car trips. We like piling into the vehicle with our four kids and seeing different scenery or stopping at the local attractions. We even get antsy if we don't periodically take one of these trips.

So, we made plans to visit Mt Airy. The location was chosen arbitrarily by us. It is the birthplace of Andy Griffin and the finale home of the original Siamese Twins, Eng and Chang Bunker. Plus my younger brother had once assured us that the area was lovely.

Let me say that Mt Airy is a delightful place. The people are wonderful and very helpful. The town is only about nine thousand people, so we were constantly told to enjoy our visit or asked where we were from. In a town so small I guess that it was obvious that we were strangers.

Mt Airy has a surprising amount of things to do. They have a coffee shop, a three floor emporium, a museum, several diners and Opie's candy shop. Mmmmmm.......

The scenery is beautiful. Mt Airy is located in the foot hills of NC, close to the mountains. So you can see the distant outline of mountains.

It was so nice that my husband said that he didn't want to return to Fayetteville!

Here is a link to a site telling about this very nice town. Please be sure to visit. You will enjoy yourselves.
http://www.visitmayberry.com/

What is Purgatory?

2007-09-14T20:00:00.001-04:00

Purgatory is a place of cleansing. I’ve even heard it described as a process more then an actual physical place. It says in Rev 21:27 that nothing unclean shall enter heaven. None of us can claim to be without sin. (All have sinned, and fallen short of the glory of God." Romans 3:23) Even as Christians we fall sadly short of God’s mark for us. We all have told little fibs, felt envy at a friend’s success, listened to gossip or done any number of things that are displeasing to God. Yes, our transgressions are forgiven but we still need to rid ourselves of the residue that our past acts implants on our souls.

I like analogies so stick with me. Imagine that a poor man is suddenly invited to dine with the king. Excited he leaves home but can not afford any better means of traveling then walking. As he approaches the palace, the poor man is terrified that he will be turned back. Yet the steward assures him that the king is anxious to meet him, but first the traveler must wash and clothe himself in garments that the King (Jesus) has chosen. Should the poor man get angry that the King won’t see him just as he is? Of course not. Does it make the invitation (salvation) any less valid that he is asked to undergo a cleansing (Purgatory) before he enters the banquet hall (Heaven)? I don’t think so and to be honest I don’t want to meet my King without being as spiritually clean as I can be.

Purgatory is not a second chance for Catholics to work their way into heaven-as a Protestant informed me. Those who are in Purgatory are already guaranteed heaven. They are just riding themselves of all the emotional baggage that would prevent them from enjoying the bliss of paradise.

It might come as some surprise to my non-Catholic friends but they too believe in Purgatory, even though they don’t use the term. When I was Baptist, I used to attend regular Adult Sunday School Class. One day, the teacher spoke about different rewards in heaven. A student asked how it was possible that we humans not feel envy that others might be given a higher place. The teacher promised that, upon our death, our souls would be transformed and we would no longer be able to feel envy for one another or even sadness for our loved ones who remained on earth. Now that I am Catholic I realize that he had just, unknowingly, explained purgatory!

Call No Man Father

2007-09-12T13:27:00.001-04:00

When studying the bible one must be very careful to read in context. Isolating verses can lead to misinterpretation of the biblical text. This is very apparent when one actually reads the verses adjacent to Matthew 23:9.

Matthew 23: 9 reads (The New American Bible) Call no one on earth your father; you have but one Father in heaven. Taking this verse literally would mean that we could never call our paternal parent father without sinning. When you consider that the Aramaic form of Father could be translated as Dad, Pop, Papa, etc, then the only thing left is to call our male parent by his first name! Some will say that it is obvious that Jesus was not referring to parents, yet he did not add except for parents. Even if allowances are made for parents, we are forced to conclude that we should refrain from such terms as “Founding Fathers” or “Church Fathers!” The only way to comprehend Jesus’ true meaning is to read the text surrounding this Matthew 23:9.

Starting with the first verse in Matthew 23 and reading onward, we have Jesus exhorting his followers not to be like the Pharisees because “…They preach and do not practice” Mathew 23:3. In other words, these particular leaders were hypocrites, who expected their followers to abide by rules which the Pharisees themselves did not adhere.

In Matthew 23: 5 we are further told that “All their works are performed to be seen...” In other words, these men wanted the fame that comes from being thought Godly with none of the actual work, responsibility or love of God that is required. It was not with the aim to glorify God that these men were serving the poor and keeping the law but only to gain praise for their own selves. Jesus warned the disciples earlier about such an attitude in Matthew 6:1-8

But we reach the crux of the manner when we read Matthew 23:6-7 Jesus says of the Pharisees “They love places of honor at banquets, seats of honor in synagogues, greetings in marketplaces, and the salutation, “Rabbi.” These men wanted honor, respect and glory. They were not humble but prideful and desired titles for themselves.

Jesus instructs his followers not only to not use the phrase, Father, but in verse 8, he forbids the use of Rabbi-or teacher. Our word Doctor is based on the Latin word for teacher. If Jesus really meant that we can no longer use the title Father, then neither are we allowed to call anyone professor, teacher or doctor. We can not even use the heading Mister or Mistress because Matthew 23:10 says “Do not be called Master; you have but one master, the Messiah. Mister is a derivative of Master. So taking these verses literally would mean that no one can be called Mr. Jones, Mrs. Smith or Miss Doe.

In his sermons, Jesus often used hyperbole. For those who are unfamiliar with the definition of this word, hyperbole is an obvious exaggeration spoken to make a point. An example would be “I waited forever.” Of course we know the speaker did not wait forever. We understand that the speaker is not fibbing but using exaggeration to make a point about the length of his wait.

Jesus, himself, used the terms Father and Teacher, when he spoke. In the parable of the rich man and Lazarus, Jesus says that the rich man calls out for Father Abraham. (Luke 16: 24) He speaks of teachers and masters in Matthew 10: 24:25.

Apparently Jesus’ followers all believed that the Messiah was using hyperbole, because they refer to themselves as Teacher and Father several times in the New Testament. For example, Paul not only refers to Timothy as his beloved son in the Lord in 1 Corinthians 4:17 and 1 Timothy 1:2 but even says to his fellow Christians in 1 Corinthians 4: 15 Even if you should have countless guides to Christ, yet you do not have many fathers, for I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel.

The beauty of understanding that Jesus was speaking in hyperbole and not commanding that no one use the titles Father, Doctor, Teacher or Mister is that we can look into the deeper meaning of the passage and discern how it applies to us today.

In today’s age of celebrity, a person’s fame sometimes appears more important then their actual morality or worthiness. As Christians we are to glorify God instead of ourselves. That is a message that is still relevant today.